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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 16, 2015 18:11:19 GMT -5
Blue,
I just saw you post above and the link. Thanks for the recourse.
Mark/Jeyu
"Whatever It Takes"
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 16, 2015 10:37:41 GMT -5
Hey Brett, Short and to the point. I agree completely. JFDI means whatever it takes.
Mark/Jeyu
JFDI or Whatever it Takes
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 16, 2015 7:35:52 GMT -5
Kim,
Yes, I think it's better to talk about it, and I'm glad you brought this up. If I offended you, I'm sorry; it was not my intention. I am certainly not being judgemental about antidepressants or other medications that a physician might prescribe for a patient. I think, for some people with certain conditions, recovery is impossible without them. I have, as I told to Mark, been on antidepressants myself in the past. Also speaking from my point of view, but expecting agreement from Ang and Brett, the JFDI isn't meant to be judgemental. For me, it means that if all of the tools that are supporting my recovery fail me, if out of nowhere, I am hit by cravings that seem impossible to resist, if I have to go back to hour by hour abstinence, I will JFDI. I will push through this and get to the other side without drinking. Fortunately, this hasn't happened to me in a long time, but my commitment to not drinking is complete. It means I will try to "do the next right thing", even if it seems impossible to do at the time. It is an affirmation that, even in the roughest times, if I persevere and push forward, I will come out on the other side a recovering alcoholic, not a relapsed alcoholic. It is kind of an unspoken bond that Brett, Ang, and I have had over the last year and a half that we wouldn't drink, no matter what. Recovery from alcohol addiction is impossible while drinking. For me, this is just another tool of recovery, but one of last resort. If nothing else is working, JFDI.....push through this time and just don't drink. Things will be better tomorrow. Again, my apologies if you or anyone else has been offended by this. It was never intended to alienate you or anyone else, nor was it meant to be judgemental or offensive in any way.
Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 15, 2015 23:23:08 GMT -5
Mark and Jenn,
Mark, I'm certainly glad that physician twenty years ago knew what he was doing. You are a testament to what recovery can be. Your openness and willingness to share has been of immense help to many others, myself included. And Jenn, the same goes for you, especially concerning your dad. At one time, I suffered severe depression as well. To varying degrees, it lasted until I quit drinking last year. I have never gone this long in my life without several episodes of significant depression. In my case, antidepressants helped, but by far the most effective treatment for my depression was the absence of alcohol in my body for a significant period of time. Over the last year, I have had this tested a few times. Several events have affected me by causing sadness, worry, stress, disgust, etc. These would always precede episodes of depression while I was drinking, but in the absence of alcohol they are just the normal emotional swings that occur in life. They were dealt with and dismissed. I am excited that this has happened, an unexpected reward for sobriety. I am not at all against the use of antidepressants or other prescribed medications where indicated. I'm also not saying that everyone else will experience the same positive benefits that I did, but for me, the most effective "pill" for MY depression was the absence of the drug alcohol.
Mark/Jeyu
JFDI
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 15, 2015 22:15:08 GMT -5
Hey Kim,
I hope you are doing well down under. As TuTu said, I've been pretty busy here lately trying to tie things up to be able to visit your beautiful land briefly to visit family and for business.
Since Ang spoke to Dana for me about my time, I think I'll speak for her here. I think you two are saying the same thing. You said, "Alcohol is a pill like any other so what's the difference?" The way I read her comments, that's exactly what she is trying to get across, and is communicating that in her situation, substituting a potentially addictive substance for a substance that she was addicted to would not work.
The thread is "Addictive Personality". I take that to mean that some people are more susceptible to addictions than others. I, quite honestly, saw no harsh statements in her post, and nothing that would prevent those with addictions other than alcohol from joining in. Ang broke addictions to both alcohol and smoking and did so primarily with the forum as her help and support. I think that is a testament to the power of this place.
Mark/Jeyu (Dana, I'm step closer to a sticker for my locker!)
JFDI
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 15, 2015 10:31:42 GMT -5
Hi Dana,
Your statement, "Until we are desperate for a better way of life, nothing will work" is completely true and, in my opinion, the one common denominator in successful recovery. Once that point has truly been reached, there are many methods of recovery that seem to work. Prior to that point, few, if any, lead to long term recovery.
On another note, thank you for taking the lead in trying to make this new forum a place that could help many, both now and in the future, find their own paths to recovery.
Mark/Jeyu
JFDI
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 14, 2015 22:34:57 GMT -5
Well TuTu, with the price of oil, many Texans are out of money, so we need to attract those European buyers!
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 14, 2015 21:36:40 GMT -5
An art gallery. What a great idea. But we need a really good name. "Art By Ang". No, too tame. "Gallery de TuTu". Maybe. "La Maison des Tutes". That's it!
Later, my friend, Mark/Jeyu
JFDI
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 14, 2015 20:46:36 GMT -5
Dana,
You said, "Hi Mark, I think I'm on the fence with this one. I kind of agree with you... but to play devil's advocate - isn't it true that recovery/remission from other diseases, like cancer, also require active participation. One must make the decision to get the treatment (chemo, radiation, surgery) and then follow through with that. The biggest difference being that there are tests to identify the disease, and educated doctors who can prescribe the best course of action."
I see a difference more in the acquisition of the "disease" rather than the cure. While it is certainly true that lifestyle and choices play a roll in some types of cancer, such as lung cancer, many types of cancer require no participation on the part of the afflicted. Alcohol addiction requires active participation by the alcoholic. I do believe that there is a genetic susceptibility and that some day an enhanced ability of the alcoholic to break the addiction will involve addressing the genetic aspect of this. BUT, no one held me down and poured alcohol down my throat on a daily basis for years. I had to face up to my responsibility in becoming an alcoholic to enable the taking of personal responsibility for my recovery. I have a cousin who uses a genetic predisposition and the disease model to explain why her son is a drug addict and an alcoholic. Maybe. And maybe he was also completely spoiled, had too much time on his hands, too much disposable, no questions asked, income, and no parental guidance. His disease will be cured when and if he decides he wants to make something of himself, wants to be sober more than he wants to be drunk, and is willing to work toward that end. For him and for his mother, "disease" is an excuse, and as long as he/they choose to view is as such and avoid personal responsibility, his addictions will only continue to worsen.
Mark/Jeyu
Re-reading this, it sounds like somewhat of a rant, and I guess it is. I just got off the phone with that same cousin who said, "This was so easy for you. It just isn't as easy for everyone."
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 11, 2015 11:32:01 GMT -5
Blue, "I asked about Zeus, Ganesha and Thor. But no other god would do according to her. So I give her a wide berth."
Hey Blue, That's funny. Is there a slight ringing in your ears twice daily? If so, you know what is happening.
I have found that my views are changing since I quit drinking. I have moved from atheism to agnosticism to pantheism (yeah, I had to look up the name for it). Pantheism is the belief that God is the universe itself. Who knows, I may keep moving to the right and eventually be able to see Russia from my house.
Nah.
Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 11, 2015 10:30:07 GMT -5
Actually, this is a lot more normal. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 11, 2015 7:50:08 GMT -5
Hey Blue, It's nice to connect a face to a name. Good idea! Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 11, 2015 7:37:52 GMT -5
Hey Brett, That's a good story. Perhaps your neighbor looking out of HIS front window over the last year or so has given him some inspiration to try to fix his life. You just never know. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 9, 2015 18:31:51 GMT -5
Hey Brett, I'm happy to see that you are continuing this thread on the new forum. Ditto 1 through 9 for me. I would like to add a number 10. Be thankful. I'm thankful that I am now able to deal with those inevitable little (and sometimes big) problems that accompany day to day living without the need to escape through alcohol. Being able to think through a situation clearly, without self medication, allows for better solutions to problems. In hindsight, I'm actually thankful that I became an alcoholic as well, because without alcoholism, I would have never met the friends that I have made here, there would be no recovery, and without recovery, there would be no growth as a person. I will never be recovered; I don't want to ever consider myself recovered. I prefer to be a recovering alcoholic, expecting to be a better person tomorrow than I am today, each day, and working hard allow for that possibility. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Sept 8, 2015 17:49:55 GMT -5
Tutu I think you should write a suspense novel! Hey, we need to put out a call to some of our newer members from the old forum, J, Petuny, kk, etc., unless they are here somewhere. If so, I haven't seen a post from them lately. I don't get email notifications like on the old forum when someone posts to me, do you? If so, I probably need to change something in settings. Mark/Jeyu
JFDI
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