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Post by jeyu0422 on May 3, 2020 12:41:27 GMT -5
Doc, Honesty with yourself and others is a big part of this, so you certainly have what it takes. It took me about 15 years from the first time I knew I needed to quit drinking until I finally made it work. I sincerely hope you don’t put yourself through that like I did. Mark (Jeyu)
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Post by jeyu0422 on May 2, 2020 17:15:19 GMT -5
Doc, That’s great news. Every day adds up and will give you confidence that you can do another. About a month in my journey, I remember being extremely tempted to have just one, but I resisted because I didn’t want to throw away all of those hard earned days of sober equity. Mark (Jeyu).
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Post by jeyu0422 on May 1, 2020 7:35:01 GMT -5
Doc, Congratulations! Good plans set the foundation for good decisions. Days add up and you will look back and realize that YOU have the power to change your life. That statement does not jive with the core teachings of AA but some of us here have proven that it can happen. Mark (Jeyu)
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Post by jeyu0422 on Apr 30, 2020 16:01:16 GMT -5
Doc, One of the best ways to hold yourself accountable is to tell your family and some close friends that you think you are developing a problem with alcohol and have decided to quit drinking. Tell them NOT to believe you if you say at some point that you have things under control and can drink again socially. The saying “once a pickle, never a cucumber again” (or something like that) applies here. I assure you that your addicted brain will try to convince you that you can drink again and that you will be able to control things this time. Been there. Done that. Many times. It doesn’t work. Mark (Jeyu)
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Post by jeyu0422 on Apr 30, 2020 13:41:40 GMT -5
Hi Doc, That’s a good plan. You are correct In that to not drink, you have to plan not to drink. Good luck in making that plan work! Mark - Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Apr 30, 2020 13:32:07 GMT -5
Doc, There are a number of reasons that people begin to abuse alcohol. While each person who has experienced this has their own unique story, there is one thing in common to those who are FORMER alcohol abusers; they have found a way to live their lives without alcohol. The FIRST step in recovery is to quit drinking, now and forever. I, personally, quit drinking many times, for a day, a week, a month..... only to begin again when I thought I could handle it. I couldn’t. I can’t. I finally reached a level of desperation on April 22, 2014, where I knew that alcohol was in the driver’s seat and had complete control of my life. I desperately wanted to regain control and quit drinking for the last time. I came to this forum (actually, its more active predecessor) and received the help I needed to make this work. From your post, it seems like our stories are somewhat similar. I had and still have a steady job as a professional. To most of those around me, I had things under control; working hard every day and drinking every night. Getting up every morning and doing it all again. The problem with alcohol addiction is that it is a progressive disease. It takes more alcohol over a period of time to satisfy the addiction. There are both physiological and psychological aspects of alcoholism or alcohol abuse. Unfortunately, neither can be dealt with while drinking. Although this place is somewhat dormant at this time, I can assure you that if you are serious about living a life without alcohol, there will be people here who are willing to give the knowledge and support to help you do this. I’ll check in daily and be there to offer any support that I can as you make and hopefully implement this life changing decision. I wish you the best.
Mark (Jeyu)
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Post by jeyu0422 on Apr 30, 2020 7:31:25 GMT -5
Hi Doc, Welcome. I just got an email from an old friend in Australia. I could have written your post almost word for word 6 years and 8 days ago. That is the day I decided for the last time that my life with alcohol wasn’t working anymore. I have to get ready for work this morning, but I’ll be back later when I have a little time. Mark (Jeyu)
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Post by jeyu0422 on Aug 6, 2019 21:26:54 GMT -5
Congratulations, Scarlet! Yep, the news is very depressing, but you can always employ a ‘what if’ strategy. When I got to a point of really feeling sorry for myself, I would imagine situations that I could find myself in that were much worse than the present. What if I were in an El Paso Walmart? What if I were an illegal immigrant, not knowing if, without warning, I would be picked up and deported? The examples go on infinitely. It always brought me down to earth. What if I could actually turn these two days without alcohol into three? The previous examples made it seem a little easier. Mark/Juyu.
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Post by jeyu0422 on Aug 4, 2019 23:21:12 GMT -5
Everydae, I hope you are still winning your battle with alcohol. If not, please know that most, maybe all, of us made numerous attempts to quit drinking and to lead a sober life before we finically got it right. Also, know that you are always welcome back. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Aug 4, 2019 17:59:09 GMT -5
Clue, Such an excellent post!
Scarlet, Actually, over time, you can be in a position to be around alcohol comfortably without drinking. I think Clue has an excellent idea, keep a journal. I kept mine on the old forum. I would post many times during the day. In fact, initially, I would post every time I was desperate for a drink, many times daily, and make myself just one promise; that I wouldn’t drink until someone responded to my post. I kept that promise and inevitably got enough support to make it through the daily crises of confidence. Believe us when we tell you that a better and happier life can be yours, but only if you are willing to kick alcohol out of your life forever. I’m sure your doggies would appreciate it as well! Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 30, 2019 22:59:02 GMT -5
Oh, and Scarlet, one more thing. Mark_LA is one of my heros. I posted here out of desperation trying to make it through one night without drinking. That was on April 22nd, 2014. Mark was one of the people who first responded to my post. I tried to follow his advice and that of others here. I wanted to find for myself what they had found, sobriety. I made it through that night, and the next, and the next..... It was anything but easy, but I’m sure glad I made the decision to become sober.
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 30, 2019 22:45:13 GMT -5
Must be a sign!
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 30, 2019 22:42:50 GMT -5
Scarlet, A true desire to change your life is the first step in making that change. AA works for many, but not all. If it didn’t work for you, there are many alternatives available. Reading through many of the threads on this forum might give you some ideas. Your family doctor should be able to direct you to some sources as well. For years I suffered through periodic bouts with depression, made much worse by my self medication with alcohol. I can tell you from experience that my method was not the way to go. I could make no progress toward a peaceful and happy life with alcohol being a big part of it. It was out there, I just had to break the grip that alcohol had on me to be able to find it. I hope you dedicate the time and effort into finding a way to successfully reach a place where you are healthy, both physically and emotionally. At 33, you should have many happy years to look forward to in life. Change is possible if you truly want it. I wish you the best. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 25, 2019 23:21:51 GMT -5
Everydae, Way to go! If/when you are struggling, you might find it helpful to have a glass of something to sip on such as water or sparkling water. I like a sparkling water sold at most grocery stores with a hint of grapefruit juice (even though I’m not wild about grapefruit). They also make a sparkling grape juice that is pretty good as well. Even though I quit drinking, my spouse and in-laws didn’t and I was around wine constantly. Initially, I would pour myself a glass of grape juice while they were all drinking wine. I kinda felt out of place without a wine glass in my hand. Now I don’t care, but that seemed to help me early on. Best of luck! Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 23, 2019 7:40:31 GMT -5
Dae, For YEARS I did the same thing. I had this huge resolve to break the grip that alcohol had on my life and was 100% committed to quitting, until all of a sudden, that commitment was gone and I was drinking again. Sometimes the attempt lasted several days, sometimes just a few hours. I finally made it work out of desperation. I found that each time I quit and started drinking again, the grip that alcohol had on me got a little stronger until I finally realized that I had no more next times. I had to make this work this time. Fear, desperation, and guilt are strong motivators, and when I truly believed that this time was the last time, I was able to reclaim my life. For some, it is a life changing event that allows that final push; a DWI, an accident, jail time. For me, it was the realization that I had let alcohol become more important to me than my relationship and time with my family. I missed seeing my teenaged daughter hitting her one and only home run in softball because I was sitting in my car having a last drink before going to see the game, and get this, I was at the game, just in the car having a last drink. I could give you many other examples of things in life that I missed because of alcohol, as can most of the posters here, but you either have or will eventually have stories of your own to tell. You may not be there now, but I expect that you will eventually get to this point. I truly hope that you find that strength of desperation before you have years of stories to tell of what you missed in life due to alcohol. You will never get those years or those experiences back. When you’re ready, dust yourself off and get back on that horse. Best of luck on your next ride! Mark/Jeyu.
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