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Nov 23, 2015 6:12:24 GMT -5
Post by achilles1957 on Nov 23, 2015 6:12:24 GMT -5
Hey Sam, Thanks for the laugh and the Christmas wishes. How's things in your world? All good I hope, or as good as it can be.
:-)
Jenn
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Nov 23, 2015 13:15:12 GMT -5
Pam likes this
Post by Sam on Nov 23, 2015 13:15:12 GMT -5
Hello Pam and Jenn, I am doing well thank you for asking. Getting ready for Thanksgiving this Thursday, well, I am not doing anything my wife is doing the shopping and with her mom and sisters they will cook a meal to the family over my in-laws house, about 50 people. I guess what I am ready for is to eat I was thinking the other day how blessed I am, I grew up in a loving caring home, my wife and her parents are very nice and kind people, both my son and daughter are in college, and we have a roof over our heads that is all paid for. I tried my best to wreck all that for many years with my addiction to alcohol. This illness is so powerful I could see clearly the damage I was doing to myself and my loved ones but it did not stop me, I even got worse. I've known a lot of people through AA that lost everything, one guy I was close to killed himself due to losing everything because of drinking, my best friend and the best man in my wedding died 13 years ago from alcoholism, his heart just stopped, it couldn't take the abuse anymore. I went on drinking for another 5 years before I stopped for almost 5 years and relapsed again. It took me a long time and deep understanding of my illness to finally give up alcohol for what I hope for the rest of my life. I had to replace the image of the elegance of drinking from my head and replace it with an image of what alcohol was doing to me and the damage it caused me in my life. Sorry if I am talking too much, but this is the place where I can be free and say what's on my mind. Happy holidays to you and yours, Sam
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Nov 23, 2015 14:51:59 GMT -5
Post by bethanne711 on Nov 23, 2015 14:51:59 GMT -5
Hi Sam, it is wonderful to hear from you again. Gratitude is a wonderful thing and imperative to a happy life ( I think ). I often have to remind myself to be grateful because at times I slip into the " why me ? " mentality. It is then that I remind myself that things could always be worse and that I am grateful for what I have ( both physical and non physical ). I'm glad you are happy. You certainly deserve happiness. Happy Thanksgiving. That is quite the crowd !
Beth
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Nov 23, 2015 15:34:10 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Nov 23, 2015 15:34:10 GMT -5
Hello Pam and Jenn, I am doing well thank you for asking. Getting ready for Thanksgiving this Thursday, well, I am not doing anything my wife is doing the shopping and with her mom and sisters they will cook a meal to the family over my in-laws house, about 50 people. I guess what I am ready for is to eat I was thinking the other day how blessed I am, I grew up in a loving caring home, my wife and her parents are very nice and kind people, both my son and daughter are in college, and we have a roof over our heads that is all paid for. I tried my best to wreck all that for many years with my addiction to alcohol. This illness is so powerful I could see clearly the damage I was doing to myself and my loved ones but it did not stop me, I even got worse. I've known a lot of people through AA that lost everything, one guy I was close to killed himself due to losing everything because of drinking, my best friend and the best man in my wedding died 13 years ago from alcoholism, his heart just stopped, it couldn't take the abuse anymore. I went on drinking for another 5 years before I stopped for almost 5 years and relapsed again. It took me a long time and deep understanding of my illness to finally give up alcohol for what I hope for the rest of my life. I had to replace the image of the elegance of drinking from my head and replace it with an image of what alcohol was doing to me and the damage it caused me in my life. Sorry if I am talking too much, but this is the place where I can be free and say what's on my mind. Happy holidays to you and yours, Sam Thank you Sam,
Looking forward to the cooking and the eating . . . this holiday brings. No. . . family members especially close but we call one another and laugh and share recipes and such on Thanksgiving day. . .
I've recently received news of another relative who has died . . . alcoholism . . . . He lived a relatively long life, but the quality of the last few years was so poor. . . .
Knowledge of what alcoholism has done to my family . . . recollecting the decisions I have made, etc. . . . keeps me focused on a life of sobriety . . . .
So we share and share . . . the good . . . the bad. . . and the ugly . . .
We share the truth. . .
Much happiness to you and yours . . .
Take care,
Pam
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Nov 23, 2015 15:38:36 GMT -5
Post by Sam on Nov 23, 2015 15:38:36 GMT -5
Hey Beth, Yes, lots of people, mostly their kids and grand kids and great grand kids, and the rest friends, and enough food to feed an army. I am thinking of bringing a folding chair so I can sit down! Not a single alcoholic in the crowd and I know them all. I am the only one with a drinking problem. My in-laws have a bar in the house with all kinds of booze. I have been to so many gatherings in that house, not once have I seen anyone abuse alcohol. They drink wine and chat and laugh and might get a buzz, when that happens they switch to green tea or coffee or just water. After dinner they'll have a shot of Cognac, may be, and that's about it, very normal, no abuse. Again, I am the only one with a huge appetite for alcohol, I kept a bottle in the trunk of my car because I was ashamed of drinking their alcohol to excess, but I needed to feed my addiction, once I started there was no stopping. I liked being in a large crowd, this way I could drink and not be noticed and that's were I learned to hide my drunkenness by not being a center of attention, and speak little. But they knew, they knew I was a monster, and were too polite to say anything. Sam
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Nov 23, 2015 16:04:39 GMT -5
Post by Sam on Nov 23, 2015 16:04:39 GMT -5
Hi Beth,
I did the "why me" for a long time, it was part of not wanting to take responsibility for my illness. I actually used it to justify my drinking, that I had an illness I did not ask for nor could control, so what am I going to do if I am sick and can't help but drink? The answer was to drink, it was out of my control, it's a condition I had.
Every thing I did during my drinking career was to keep me drinking, it is amazing how my brain was programmed to associate my day with drinking, I did not need to make an effort to justify my drinking, it was all there, I had the answer to why I drank, and it all worked in my favor.
Alcoholism is a sickness that takes over reason, alcoholism is a total package of lies, manipulations and nonsense, all in the name of justifying my next drink. In it's advance stages it takes over the mind, I did not care what was going to happen if I started drinking, I wanted to drink and that is all I cared about, at an earlier stage, I actually cared and did some calculations, ended up drinking anyway, but struggled a bit with it.
Sam
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Nov 23, 2015 18:42:45 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2015 18:42:45 GMT -5
Hey Sam, I love reading your posts because they are straightforward and honest and from the heart. Plus they make interesting reading with a few laughs thrown in. Happy Thanksgiving to you. We don't celebrate it here.
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Nov 24, 2015 14:49:25 GMT -5
Post by bethanne711 on Nov 24, 2015 14:49:25 GMT -5
Hi Sam, Isn't it puzzling to watch people without a drinking problem at social events ? It's like, " how do they do that ? That glass of wine is half full and they are just going to leave it there ? ". How can he make that drink last so long ? Did he just say, "no thanks" to another drink ? WTF ?! We alkies are odd characters compared to those who are not. Thank you for your post, Sam. I have always enjoyed hearing from you. You are very relatable.
Enjoy your holiday with your friends and family !
Beth
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Nov 25, 2015 0:46:08 GMT -5
Post by Sam on Nov 25, 2015 0:46:08 GMT -5
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Nov 25, 2015 5:54:43 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Nov 25, 2015 5:54:43 GMT -5
Hi Everyone . . .
Have a good day. . .
Pam
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Nov 26, 2015 15:39:50 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Nov 26, 2015 15:39:50 GMT -5
Hi Sam,
Hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!
Take care,
Pam
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Nov 26, 2015 15:55:44 GMT -5
Post by Sam on Nov 26, 2015 15:55:44 GMT -5
Thank you Pam, you do the same..... enjoy the food, company and watch football
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Nov 26, 2015 15:57:16 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Nov 26, 2015 15:57:16 GMT -5
Absolutely
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Dec 6, 2015 12:15:41 GMT -5
Post by Sam on Dec 6, 2015 12:15:41 GMT -5
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Dec 6, 2015 12:17:51 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Dec 6, 2015 12:17:51 GMT -5
Oh . . . my . . . goodness . . . ! That's terrible
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