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Post by ron on Sept 25, 2015 5:36:12 GMT -5
1) Made the decision to stay sober. 2) Joined online group. 3) What's next? Hi, pt. Welcome to the forum. What's next depends a good deal on how much you've been drinking, how often, and how long it's been going on. In the first 7 days, give or take, the body is getting rid of the alcohol and it's metabolites---detoxing. This is a critical time and dangerous. We can die from alcohol detoxification. Seizures are common, as well as sky-high blood pressure, stroke, and other neat stuff. If you haven't already, I suggest talking to a doctor to learn about your specific condition. If you can't or won't do that, at least make sure there is someone you trust with you during this first week. Stay close to this forum, too. Read what's been put up here so far, join in to any conversation when the spirit moves you, ask any questions you may have, and just generally feel at home. (Think of us as one big, really spread out, dysfunctional family.) I see you've already found the Step one post. Are you considering going to AA (or have you been there before)? I happy to see this kind of motivation, but for the next week, just concentrate on letting your body get used to not having booze in it. Glad you're here! ron
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Post by Pam on Sept 25, 2015 21:47:03 GMT -5
Hello. Thank you for your advice and encouragement. I have not had anything to drink recently. I am simply trying to manage my thoughts about drinking. I've briefly considered attending AA but I don't have the nerve. This forum is the alternative.
This evening I have spent time reading the AA text online to learn more about the program/process/AA.
Thank you again.
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Post by gwampa69 on Sept 26, 2015 9:09:13 GMT -5
Hi PT Welcome to the forum. It looks like you are taking an active role in your decision to get sober. Seems like a great strategy to me. I see you are reading the AA text and writing what those passages mean to you. Introspection and application of those tenets is a good way to occupy your mind in these early days. Are you experiencing any adverse withdrawal symptoms? The only reason I ask is it can be dangerous.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2015 19:12:17 GMT -5
As I read through the posts by ron. . . I am modifying it for my own purpose/to process what he has written. I hope this is not offensive or an inappropriate means of reading and posting on the forum. Hi PT, and a belated welcome to you. I'm glad you've discovered Ron's writings, as he is an amazing source of all things related to alcoholism and substance abuse. About your question, do you mean you're going to be rewriting what Ron wrote? If so, the person you need to run that by is Ron himself. Typically, when you quote text written by someone else, you use the person's words verbatim, encased in quotation marks and attributed to him or her, and then add your thoughts separately. This is limited to relatively small chunks of text, such as a few paragraphs max. But because the writer of this text is Ron, who's an active participant here, he gets to make his own rules. Again, welcome.
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Post by blueskye on Sept 27, 2015 9:22:26 GMT -5
Welcome, PT! I really enjoyed reading your posts.
I agree with what you said about semantics. Here's my take: When I say I have 'butterflies in my tummy', most people know what I mean. They know what I'm trying to say and they know that I don't really have butterflies in my stomach. The Big Book is poorly written, but I get the gist of it.
The idea of being 'recovered' rather than recovering appeals to me too. In discussion with other AAers, this idea that we can recover is often argued as impossible. It isn't. I know many recovered alcoholics. I'm still in the recovery stage, but one day I too, will be recovered. It's important for me to think so, otherwise sobriety would seem dismal. For others, they have told me that it helps them to think they'll always be in the recovery stage. To each his own.
Welcome!
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Post by Pam on Sept 27, 2015 12:32:01 GMT -5
Hello PJ and BlueSkye. Thank you for your welcome.
The posts actually belong to Ron. He has posted all of this reflection in the 12 steps section of the forum. I have moved them here to process them. I am underlining and making bold the sections that are significant (to me).
Ron has written posts for Steps 1 - 4 so far. I am reading his posts in conjunction with the AA book. It's just my way of processing the steps.
PT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2015 16:49:49 GMT -5
Hey PT and Welcome, I thinks that's great that you are working on the Steps. I'm working on my Step 4 now which will probably take me forever to do.
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Post by Pam on Sept 27, 2015 18:42:12 GMT -5
Thank you for your welcome Kim. I will be looking for answers regarding the pace of working the steps. None of us will process them at the same time. I also understand that the accountability starts and stops with me. STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol– that our lives had become unmanageable.
STEP TWO: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. STEP THREE: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. (Chapter 5 of AA book) STEP FOUR: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (Research this to understand the process: Chapter 5.)
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Post by ron on Sept 28, 2015 7:06:42 GMT -5
As I read through the posts by ron. . . I am modifying it for my own purpose/to process what he has written. I hope this is not offensive or an inappropriate means of reading and posting on the forum. Hey, there, pt, Personally, I have no problem with what you've been doing here. I know what I have written, and what you have added to it. But----(bet you saw that coming, huh?) It really will be confusing for someone else who is reading it. A good way to stop the confusion is to make it clear what parts of a post you have gotten from somewhere else and which parts are yours. Several ways to do this include: 1) Use the "Quote" button on the top right of the post you are going to quote. This will automatically put the entire quoted post into its own little box, like you see in this one you are reading right now. If you don't want to quote the entire original, you can delete whatever you wish from the quote box. Then make sure the cursor is blinking below the quote box to type your response, like I'm doing here. 2) You can go old school and do what I did in most of my Step series posts: change the font color and/or use bold face and/or italics, and/or even change the font size of the passage you wish to quote. Then, as you'll note I did, stick on a credit at the end of the quote to let future readers know who wrote the quoted piece. As I said, I don't much care about my writings here in the forum. I put it out there for people do read, and hopefully find useful. If they find it useful, I am happy. If they find it worthy of passing on to someone else, I'm ecstatic. (I'm talking Happy Feet happy here.) Other folks here, I can't speak for, but eventually, if you continue as you have here, someone will be royally pissed off about it. And if you quote something from another website which happens to be traditionally copyrighted, then you are open to a call of plagiarism, which would require, at the least, that Buddy remove the post from the forum and slap your wrist. All in all, it's probably best to always and forever ensure that you give credit where credit is due. Just because it's the right thing to do. peace, ron
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Post by Pam on Sept 28, 2015 21:03:40 GMT -5
From AA book . . . (Chapter 5) "We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. . . . If we were to live, we had to be free of anger."
Goal: The past is the past. . .
"Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes."
Task: Honest reflection on my decisions and their effects.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2015 21:12:22 GMT -5
Wow PT, you are definitely plowing through the steps a lot faster than me. I enjoy reading your thoughts as well as Ron's since that's the step I'm working on. I don't seem to have much free time, maybe need to make some more.
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Post by Pam on Sept 28, 2015 21:36:27 GMT -5
No way . . .Kim, I'm going to be stuck here for some time. I just don't know how this can be done by an individual . . . without processing with a therapist. (I'm quite serious here!) I'm trying to figure out how to reflect on some of these experiences without . . . reliving them (Getting emotionally caught up in them.) That alone is terrifying and makes me want to back down/quit/yell "Uncle".
I'm reading and rereading the paragraphs in Chapter 5 of the AA book. I'm saddened to admit this, but I can't imagine getting to the point where I can let go . . . . I know it's possible. The experiences are not necessarily recent, but they still sting. I know what I am supposed to do. . . but certainly, this is the Step where I'm going to stall and work for a significant amount of time.
Maybe admitting this emotional distress is a part of the process. . .
Take care.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2015 22:03:28 GMT -5
Hey PT, I'm pretty scared myself as a lot of experiences I don't want to relive. Atm I'm just looking at the past 20 years aroundabout so that I don't get lost along the way. I know in AA they say to do Step 4 with your sponsor but as I don't have one and don't really want one I'm faced with doing it on my own. I like Sam's idea about just jotting down thoughts as they come. Another idea is to work on it 10 minutes a day. I guess different things work for different people. I've got spare time today so a good time to do some work on it. I'm looking at Fears first as I think the Anger list is a bit much for me atm. Letting go is a hard one for me as well.
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Post by achilles1957 on Sept 30, 2015 1:13:33 GMT -5
Hi PT and a belated Welcome to the Forumily.. I'm enjoying your methodical approach, well reading it I mean. Unfortunately I have no 'method to my madness' but I'm doing the next right thing on a daily basis which I guess is ok.
I too am attempting to do Step 4 and not getting very far at all.. so far I haven't written a thing. As soon as I start trying to think of things that bothered me in the past, I get distracted by all the good stuff that's happening around me and I think 'what the heck, I'll think about that another day'. I've been going to AA meetings twice a week for the last 2 months or so, I really benefit from the face to face interaction with people who really get what I'm sharing and visa versa. It's a first for me and I'm relishing in that "mutual knowledge" that can only be shared with folks who've walked a similar road.
All is as it should be right now, Take care for today Jenn
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2015 5:00:47 GMT -5
Hey PT and Jenn, I got a bit of work done on my Step 4 today. It felt good to write things down and get them out on paper. I found some of my fears related back to angers. I didn't realise how many resentments I carry around with me. I've still got miles to go but at least I've made some progress. Looking forward to hearing your take on Step 4 as well Jenn.
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