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Post by gwampa69 on Mar 9, 2016 7:05:00 GMT -5
Michael Douglas had the right idea - really?? I hope you've rethought that - nothing remotely funny about being confronted with a gun or any other weapon by a psychotic b*stard who is having a "stressful" day. He got out of his car and walked away from it Pam. The context was bad traffic. I didn't say anything about guns or weapons of any kind.
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Post by Pam on Mar 9, 2016 7:59:21 GMT -5
Michael Douglas had the right idea - really?? I hope you've rethought that - nothing remotely funny about being confronted with a gun or any other weapon by a psychotic b*stard who is having a "stressful" day. He got out of his car and walked away from it Pam. The context was bad traffic. I didn't say anything about guns or weapons of any kind. Thanks for clarifying that. . .
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Post by Sam on Mar 9, 2016 8:17:40 GMT -5
Hey Brett, Don't know how my post came across, but nothing negative here....didn't take yours as negative either. I woke up like 4am....that must be it. I like waking up early, but not this early.
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Post by jeyu0422 on Mar 9, 2016 8:19:51 GMT -5
Hey friends, Tu Tu asked me a question that kinda put things into perspective for me. She asked, "When you are completely stressed out, would you ever think of reaching for a cigarette?" Well, or course the answer for me is NO, because I have never smoked; I have never been addicted to cigarettes. I am, however, an alcoholic; recovering yes, but an alcoholic none the less. Alcohol can never be an option. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Mar 9, 2016 8:27:39 GMT -5
Brett, if you run across a good two for one deal on gently used helicopters, let me know! Mark/Jeyu
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Post by achilles1957 on Mar 9, 2016 9:01:39 GMT -5
Mark I don't know how you guys handle that traffic out in California. It's bad enough around these parts. Ever seen that movie "Falling Down"? Michael Douglas had the right idea. One thing I do when I'm stuck in traffic (which is most days) is to look around at everybody surrounding me and realizing they are in the same predicament. Misery loves company right? It doesn't get me where I'm going any faster of course. But at least I know they aren't gonna beat there either. Breathing helps too. And fantasizing about buying an awesome one man helicopter works too. I can't imagine having to drive/sit in traffic every day, I live in a very small city (probably not even a city in US terms), I'm so spoiled by stress-less, easy driving. I guess the only way to survive it would be to leave early enough so as not to be late and therefore not stressed but how could one judge how early to leave ? A conundrum me thinks ! I enjoy going to the big cities for recreation, I can't imagine having to commute for work with deadlines to meet...stressful just thinking about it Certainly very good practice in accepting that which can't be controlled ... traffic, the weather, the list goes on...or you could just save for that helicopter Brett. I hope you guys are doing ok, using the knowledge and tools you've acquired over the last couple/few years. Nothing is worth going back to that dark place for, we all know that, we have to keep knowing it. I'm working on a "built-in-rememberer" right now, I don't mean focusing on the past but rather using my rational brain to "know" that my present mental/spiritual/physical strength and wellbeing is a product of, and a light from, a dark place that doesn't need to be revisited. I feel that I can now learn from my "light" self, I've absorbed the darkness (am still processing it) and somehow feel more whole..in contrast to fighting it as a separate entity. I guess I'm more accepting that it was needed at that time and is no longer needed, it worked but works no longer. I wouldn't be who I am without the darkness and am grateful for it but I don't want to visit it again. I need to remember. Sorry about out the long rave, it wasn't intended, just sort of purged out. Take care All,
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Post by gwampa69 on Mar 9, 2016 9:57:05 GMT -5
Hey Brett, Don't know how my post came across, but nothing negative here....didn't take yours as negative either. I woke up like 4am....that must be it. I like waking up early, but not this early. Hi Sam Now we are both apologizing for nothing! I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn't minimize the reality of stressors in our lives. Especially as they relate to potential drinking triggers. I wake up at 4 am a lot too. Another benefit of getting older.
ps. Thanks for posting that cartoon. Made me laugh. Do the kids call those "memes"? Is that right?
pss. I guess I should shorten "made me laugh" to LOL. Its a new world out there.
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Post by gwampa69 on Mar 9, 2016 17:43:13 GMT -5
Hey Jenn Just got home from work. Left a bit early to avoid the traffic and well, I guess today everyone else left early too! Oh well. It is what it is. Too many people too small of a planet I suppose.
I love the new term "built in rememberer" (BIR). I use it all the time but I guess but never put a name to it. It works when the "built in forgetter" (BIF) starts its thing. I remember a lot of crappy stuff that led me to give up booze. I also remember how good it feels to feel good in the morning, be able to look myself in the eye (with a mirror), go to bed at night without regrets and all the stuff in between that sobriety brings.
Thanks for bringing the BIR.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2016 0:12:45 GMT -5
Hey Brett and Jeyu, Sorry to hear you guys are doing it so tough. I thought my course was the answer but are now finding it stressful now my assignment is nearly due. I live in a big city with lots of traffic so know what you guys are talking about. I thought after 2 years you guys were immune. I should know that noone is ever immune. Remember how bad the withdrawals are; maybe that might help.
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Post by gwampa69 on Mar 10, 2016 11:18:30 GMT -5
Hey Kim I don't know if any of us are ever really immune. What I can say is that after 2 years, the thoughts come very infrequently and the time in between seems to become longer and longer as time goes on. The other thing that happens is my skills for dealing with the thought seem to be getting sharper with time. As in, "I've been down this road before and know what worked for me last time so that's what I'll do this time..". I guess its an awareness or inner dialogue I have with my true self. My old buddy the "dark passenger (DP)" listens in to these conversations I have with myself (internal conversations (externally would probably get me locked up)) and tries to get a word in edgewise. The less room I give the DP to join the conversation, the less time he spends hanging around. Does that make sense or do I sound like somebody with multiple personality disorder? If that's as close to immunity as I can expect, I'll certainly accept it.
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Post by bethanne711 on Mar 10, 2016 12:29:27 GMT -5
Hi Brett, I love your reference to the " dark passenger ". It really hits home and makes a world of sense. Thank you for your openness in sharing that part of your recovery.
Beth
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Post by gwampa69 on Mar 11, 2016 6:28:33 GMT -5
Hey Beth How's your leg these days?
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Post by achilles1957 on Mar 11, 2016 6:57:45 GMT -5
I totally agree Beth, the term really encapsulates the presence that we hopefully learn to coexist with daily. I was talking to my doctor the other day, explaining my "story" over the last decade or three. The months, sometimes years that I felt relatively free of my dark passenger (yes I used the term) when I realised that I don't need to be free of her, I just need to accept her as a part of myself. I can live in harmony (well most of the time) or I can choose to self-destruct using a slow, very painful method i.e. active alcoholism.
On a brighter note..so good to "see" you, however brief, it's so nice to see a young old-timer. ;-)
How's life in your world, renovations still going ? Hope you're well as you deserve to be.
Hugs
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2016 7:51:18 GMT -5
Hey Brett, I missed your post this morning. I like the reference to dark passenger. Maybe it would help me to think of that inner voice that way. You do seem immune by the way. I wish my dark passenger would shut up or go die atm but that won't happen as yet. I guess if he doesn't get fed he will eventually fluck off. It doesn't sound like you have MPD at all. I think everyone has conversations with themselves.
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Post by gwampa69 on Mar 11, 2016 20:22:30 GMT -5
Well that was the end of a brutal week in the old salt mines. Sometimes I wish I would have decided to be a professional football player or a rock star. I would have done those things if only:
A) I had the skills to play football on a professional level B) I could carry a tune, play a guitar (or bass) or at least looked good in spandex.
Hope you had a good week.
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