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For Kim
Oct 16, 2015 7:35:20 GMT -5
Post by jeyu0422 on Oct 16, 2015 7:35:20 GMT -5
Jenn said, "Do you sketch, paint or journal? I'm hoping to start painting again, sometime, I keep saying it but don't actually do it, erghh!! I have impossible expectations of what my paintings should look like and of course, like all expectations, always disappoint. I can minimise dissappointment by eliminating unrealistic expectations, not just with painting. Always expecting too much of oneself, always leads to feeling 'not good enough'. Story of my life. I'm real good right now, looking forward to holidays in Victoria with my son. I wrote about that in my post to Mark/Jeyu but can't find where I posted it, dammit !! Also wrote about my AA meeting which was good." Hi Jenn, I can't find the post either. Concerning the painting, I have been considering painting again as well, but haven't decided yet. I painted quite a bit years ago, a scotch in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. I remember once dipping my brush in my scotch by mistake to clean it, then thinking, what the hell and went on painting and drinking the tainted scotch. I have/had the same problem as you do with painting. I never could consider a painting finished because it was never perfect and if it wasn't perfect, it wasn't finished. I painted to relax but it never quite proved to be relaxing for me. I might try TuTu's JFDI style of painting and see how it feels. (Hey Tutes, that's not an insult, but rather a compliment). It is good to see that you are doing well. I am too. Mark/Jeyu
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For Kim
Oct 16, 2015 10:31:33 GMT -5
Post by bethanne711 on Oct 16, 2015 10:31:33 GMT -5
Hey Everyone, Thanks so much for your kind words. I thought I would tell you all that I am definitely going to a meeting tonight. No ifs or buts. I haven't been to this particular one for a few years but it is nice and close. I'm feeling pretty nervous, what to say, how much to share. Just have to take it as it comes. No excuse now my car's back on the road. As for journalling, I've heard that it helps people and I've decided to give it a try. It may help me let out my feelings. I'll go back and see the alcohol counsellor again but AA meeting to get through first. I'll post when I get back and say how it went. I'm reading Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy as well Beth. I'm halfway through the third one. Hi Kim, Great to hear from you again. How is the 3rd book ? I am almost finished the 2nd one. I'm at the part where it is Christian's Birthday...oo la la !
How did the AA meeting go yesterday ?
Beth
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For Kim
Oct 17, 2015 18:19:35 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2015 18:19:35 GMT -5
Hey Jenn, Dana, Beth, Its seems ironic that we are reading the same books Beth. It makes a pretty good read a bit like the Mills and Boon books. I'm halfway through the third. I think the second was more interesting for me anyway. As for the AA meeting, I found it therapeutic sitting in the room with people with the same problem as me. A couple of sharers were in tears which kind of upset me. I'll go to another meeting soon. I didn't share ended up leaving a bit early as I'd left my lighter in the car and couldn't go out for a smoke. As for painting, it is relaxing. I can only paint between the lines of one already drawn and it still ends up looking like shift lol. You both sound well btw Jenn and Beth.
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For Kim
Oct 17, 2015 18:28:40 GMT -5
Post by bethanne711 on Oct 17, 2015 18:28:40 GMT -5
hi, it sounds like things are coming together for you. I have some major crap going on right now but I will be checking in with everyone tomorrow. Take care, all. Beth
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For Kim
Oct 23, 2015 14:26:52 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Oct 23, 2015 14:26:52 GMT -5
Hi Kim! Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
Hope all is well. Enjoy the day! I went to two meetings and didn't go to a third. Now I'm afraid to return . . . worried about what the usual members will think of my lack of consistency
PT
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For Kim
Oct 23, 2015 18:16:57 GMT -5
Post by achilles1957 on Oct 23, 2015 18:16:57 GMT -5
Hi PT, Kim and All, I wouldn't worry about what people may think, in fact I think if we realised how little time people spend thinking about others, we'd be surprised. I've heard it said.. "what others think of me is none of my business" .. I'm trying to take that on board, I've been such a people-pleaser all my life and it only reinforces the "not good enough" feelings in me. I go to my meetings when I can and I go for me. When I first started going, I was conscious of only sharing what I thought others would benefit from hearing.. If I continued to think like that, I'd be going nowhere. My recovery has to be for me.
I'm away from home for awhile and have been away from Internet connection. I'm looking forward to going home this week though it's been nice to be cold for awhile.
Take care All, Jenn
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For Kim
Oct 23, 2015 19:37:54 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Oct 23, 2015 19:37:54 GMT -5
Hi Jenn,
Glad to hear from you! Thank you for reminding me that "what others think of me is none of my business." I decided to skip the meeting this evening and went for a walk and then, a short run in the rain with the puppy. Had a different effect. After the last meeting. . . I thought I have a long way to go. After getting out of the house and just "living" . . . I thought I can do this. . . I am . . .
Take care
PT
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For Kim
Oct 25, 2015 11:58:28 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Oct 25, 2015 11:58:28 GMT -5
Hey Kim,
How are you? Hope you're enjoying the weekend. Take care
pt
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2015 17:29:30 GMT -5
Hey PT, I'm well. I had a good weekend, not really been doing anything to write about on here. That's great that you're going to so many meetings. Just go when you feel like you need one. There's no pressure or shouldn't be. You sound really good.
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For Kim
Oct 25, 2015 17:47:47 GMT -5
Post by Pam on Oct 25, 2015 17:47:47 GMT -5
Thanks much! I feel good.
Actually, I haven't been back to a meeting since the 2nd meeting. I was tempted to go last Friday, but then, I just decided I wanted to go home and hang out with my puppy. I had not been exactly strolling into the meetings with enthusiasm. It was more like dread and anxiety. . . .
After jogging/trotting/walking fast with the puppy, I felt so much better. Just getting outside and just being in the moment . . . the week's stress was gone for a while . . .
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For Kim
Oct 25, 2015 21:41:55 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2015 21:41:55 GMT -5
Hey PT, I actually still have a lot of anxiety about going to meetings. Some meetings are really great and I feel much better for going. Others I come out a bit stressed from listening to others problems. I haven't yet learnt how to filter out the bad points and concentrate on the good. It may be different for you though.
Its a good way to relieve stress, physical exercise. I go walking every morning up to 45 minutes and I find it helps a lot. I think stress is a big reason while people drink or it was for me. I have a lot of anxiety about things.
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For Kim
Oct 26, 2015 1:02:35 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2015 1:02:35 GMT -5
Hey Everyone, I am now a full member Yippee! I saw my alcohol counsellor again today and she is working on my emotional sobriety. Basically that means I know what I have to do, but my emotions are still telling me to drink. Confusing hey! She also thinks I look for excuses or other people to blame for my cravings so lots to think about. Emotional sobriety?? Anyone got any gems of wisdom on what that means? I only get an hour every 2 weeks with her.
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For Kim
Oct 26, 2015 1:52:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2015 1:52:27 GMT -5
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For Kim
Oct 26, 2015 1:53:08 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2015 1:53:08 GMT -5
Hope this article can help someone else.
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For Kim
Oct 26, 2015 6:22:11 GMT -5
Post by jeyu0422 on Oct 26, 2015 6:22:11 GMT -5
Hi Kim, That is a very good article. Thanks for posting it. The article puts into words the last four to six months for me. Alcohol is definitely behind me, but the periodic need to escape, especially from stress, is something that I still deal with. Learning to live a happy life in the present takes some time when escape through alcohol has been "normal behavior" for so long, but it can be done and it is very rewarding. It sounds like you are doing well and that is great to see! You are not one to give up. Mark/Jeyu
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