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Post by gwampa69 on Aug 26, 2015 18:42:45 GMT -5
Hey Kim Just figured I would start a place for you over here. I know for me in the early days when every minute seemed a struggle, even the simple tasks didn't seem worth the effort. I don't mean to project my experience on to you so don't take it that way. Just providing a nice familiar place for you to continue jotting down your thoughts.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2015 19:22:47 GMT -5
Hey Brett, That was really nice of you to start a place for me. I woke up thinking what to do when the forum closes. Would there still be anyone to talk to? I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off me. Elated actually. I guess I didn't expect him to take it the breakup so well. Now I can concentrate on being sober. I'm not even having cravings which is great. Normally I wake up and my first thought is just wanting to obliterate myself for the day to cope with the stress. Now I can get on with my life, do whatever I like, not be conforming to anyone's schedule, take a nap if I need it, eat what I like, dress how I like the list is endless... I thought I'd be sad today but instead I feel happier than I have for months. I have no doubts about making the right decision. I find it hard to make decisions especially in relationships so I flounder around and prorastinate. Hopefully this means I can get sober for good now whatever it takes with no distractions. Here's to sobriety onwards and upwards as you would say.
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For Kim
Aug 27, 2015 4:09:25 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 4:09:25 GMT -5
Hey Everyone, Breakup over. He picked up his stuff today. I'm feeling a bit upset about how upset he seemed. He said he doesn't beg or cry so I hope he is coping okay. Maybe I feel a bit guilty. Anyway these things happen, just part of life.
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Post by Dana on Aug 27, 2015 9:24:12 GMT -5
Hi Kim, I'm glad you're here and talking about it! Yes, you can focus on you now. And your sobriety. We're here for you.
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For Kim
Aug 28, 2015 18:10:30 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2015 18:10:30 GMT -5
Hey Everyone, Its my daughters birthday today. She turned 16. I rang my ex and she answered and spoke to me for the first time in nearly 3 years. She even asked me if i I was going okay. She's still the same beautiful girl I remember. So I'm truly happy and now have added incentive to stay sober. Just had to share that with you all.
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For Kim
Aug 28, 2015 19:04:29 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by gwampa69 on Aug 28, 2015 19:04:29 GMT -5
Hey Kim How awesome is that? This is something you can build on for sure. If a relationship with her is what you want, then that is something you can have. Believe that. So happy for you.
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For Kim
Aug 28, 2015 21:19:20 GMT -5
Post by jeyu0422 on Aug 28, 2015 21:19:20 GMT -5
Hey Kim, That's something to hang on to for sure. I hope this is the first of many future conversations that you have with your daughter. Sometimes small things like this can provide a huge incentive to become sober. Mark/Jeyu JFDI
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For Kim
Aug 28, 2015 21:19:06 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2015 21:19:06 GMT -5
Hey Brett, I'm feeling a bit tearful after all the years I've missed with her. Her father wouldn't allow any kind of relationship with her so I have to wait until she is old enough to make up her own mind. It was a bit of a shock her suddenly talking to me but is a good sign that she is thinking for herself or starting to. I guess I'll just have to be patient and hope for the best. Its wierd because I'd started to feel like the girls were dead to me now. I guess I'm still on the emotional rollercoaster of early sobriety as well. Its lunchtime now so just have to make it to the end of the day sober.
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For Kim
Aug 28, 2015 22:47:06 GMT -5
Post by quitat54 on Aug 28, 2015 22:47:06 GMT -5
Hi Kim
I hope that your are coping. It looks like there is a lot of emotional turmoil in your life. Break up and reconnecting with your daughter. I don't know your situation but to me it looks like both are good reasons to stay sober. Both changes for positive.
J
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For Kim
Aug 29, 2015 0:26:56 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2015 0:26:56 GMT -5
Hey Quit, Thanks for your message. I realize its actually been nearly 4 years not 3 so I suppose I'm a bit off balance today. It is a good reason to stay sober. Imagine if she turned up one day and found me drinking. She will be 17 next year and may be able to drive over and visit me if she wanted to talk without her father being with her. Hope you are going well. You sound good. It is a positive sign, I think I was caught off-guard and felt like I had moved on without them. Not that I ever stopped thinking about them but I had given up. Time to move forward, clean up my house just in case. Sounds a bit stupid, but I want to be ready in case she is in real need of her mother.
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For Kim
Aug 29, 2015 3:28:07 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by achilles1957 on Aug 29, 2015 3:28:07 GMT -5
Hey Brett, I'm feeling a bit tearful after all the years I've missed with her. Her father wouldn't allow any kind of relationship with her so I have to wait until she is old enough to make up her own mind. It was a bit of a shock her suddenly talking to me but is a good sign that she is thinking for herself or starting to. I guess I'll just have to be patient and hope for the best. Its wierd because I'd started to feel like the girls were dead to me now. I guess I'm still on the emotional rollercoaster of early sobriety as well. Its lunchtime now so just have to make it to the end of the day sober.
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For Kim
Aug 29, 2015 5:33:19 GMT -5
Post by achilles1957 on Aug 29, 2015 5:33:19 GMT -5
I don't know what happened there Kim, I was trying to reply to you from my phone and ended up just quoting your last post. Anyway ... Not sure where my post went, must be floating around somewhere in cyber space.
A few days ago when you mentioned your daughter's birthday, I had a tickle of "butterflies" in my stomach, just for a second..was going to mention it but decided otherwise. I'm so happy for you and hope that your chat with her will lead to more contact further down the path. It goes to show that when things happen when we're sober, we can react with our best foot forward, behave authentically with pride. No matter what the outcome, we can know that we did our best in that moment. I bet your daughter loved hearing her mum's voice, clear and sober. Good job you!! You should be proud of yourself.
Take care Kim, use this to propel you further along your sober journey.
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For Kim
Aug 29, 2015 13:46:40 GMT -5
Post by bethanne711 on Aug 29, 2015 13:46:40 GMT -5
Hey Everyone, Breakup over. He picked up his stuff today. I'm feeling a bit upset about how upset he seemed. He said he doesn't beg or cry so I hope he is coping okay. Maybe I feel a bit guilty. Anyway these things happen, just part of life. Hi Kim, we haven't corresponded in quite sometime but I am catching up a bit and am glad to see that you have made some real progress moving on and focusing on your sobriety. Good for you. Hope to hear more good things from you ! Beth
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For Kim
Sept 2, 2015 5:15:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2015 5:15:38 GMT -5
Hey Everyone, I haven't posted in a couple of days so thought I would give you an update. I feel a bit lost without the old forum and really wish I had got sobriety a year ago when it was going strong. But anyway I am seeing a counsellor once a week. I had a major craving tonight that seemed to last for hours but I reread posts on the old forum. This was the first craving I've had in a few days, maybe because I'm romanticising the drink as I was reading this recently. So anyway I didn't drink and now can add another sober day to my list. I also read about the journey with the odometer reading that Brett talked about so I'm thinking of this as a journey. I think I've finally accepted the fact that I can never drink again or else I will never get off the merry go around and end up dead eventually or with a wet brain as my liver is still okay. My counsellor told me that about 30% of people who seek help make it either through AA, counselling or rehab or some other method. Thats combined overall so lots don't make it. I really want to make it and have been copying posts from the old forum to put in my toolbox. I've had a lot more energy today just a few aches and pains. I seem to be sleeping a lot so that must be my body recovering. Its very quiet on here so it would be good to hear from you all. Maybe I'm the only one on here in early sobriety.
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For Kim
Sept 2, 2015 8:52:27 GMT -5
Post by Dana on Sept 2, 2015 8:52:27 GMT -5
Hey Kim, try not to beat yourself up over what you didn't do, like get sober a year ago, and try to stay in the present - ie: TODAY you are sober. That is AWESOME!!! Keep practicing with this new format, and it will get easier. One thing I really like about it is after I sign in, right underneath where it says "Welcome Dana" in the upper right, there's a little blue clickable button that says "Unread" and it takes me right to the new posts. Granted there aren't a lot of new posts right now, but maybe that will change. I'm hopeful! And in the meantime, maybe we can help each other out if we find something new and fun on this site. There may be something you've found that I haven't seen, and verse vice..
Anyway, it's really fantastic (understatement) that you didn't give in to the major craving you had!! Yes, chalk up another sober day!! Awesome!! And stop romanticising the drink - it's no good! It serves no more useful purpose in your life. The benefits have run their course. Nothing can happen to your or in your life now, that a drink won't make worse. So forget about it - it's not your friend anymore. Period.
Sounds like your counselor is helping, so glad you've got that. It's good to hear from you and how you're doing. Please keep us updated! :-)
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