Hey Sam That sounds kinda familiar. I haven't had any of that particular drug in over 24 years myself but the thought about it and others has popped into my head periodically over the last 2 years. For me I think it's is a form of the "built in forgetter" in that now that booze is behind me, my addicted brain, dark passenger or whatever ya want to call it starts its trickiness from time to time. If booze is off limits, why not one of your other old friends...I used a lot of drugs in my day but none of them took hold like alcohol did. The others were incidental to my alcoholism. So in some weird way, maybe I feel that the other substances would somehow would be ok. I think it's a boredom thing for me. Trouble is, except for weed, the other drugs would certainly lead me back to drinking. Weed would just lead me to a bag of Doritos. And I don't like that buzz anymore anyway. I smoked some a year ago for a medical reason (that probably sounds like BS but it's true, I wanted to see if it would help) It helped my psoriatic arthritis pain but the high feeling was awful. Anyway, thanks for the topic. It's interesting for sure.
Hi Brett, I am not sure if there is such a thing as addictive personality, but if there is I sure have it. It takes a long time to recover from addiction to alcohol and may be this is my body and mind trying for an alternative. Anyway, the good thing is these thoughts aren't with me all the time, it just that it really bothers me that I still want to get high, makes me think what else can I do to remain sober......f this ####.
I hear you. Some may say that the occasional thoughts addicts/alchies in recovery may have about wanting to get high (or "altered" in some way) are an indication that we aren't truly sober. I don't know if that's true or not. What I think is that while for some that may be the case, for others it could just mean that we are kinda bored occasionally and feel like partying. Maybe there is nothing insidious about the thought at all. Humans down through time have celebrated all kinds of stuff using substances to alter their reality, many with no dire consequences other than a hangover. I don't think its weird or unusual to have those thoughts as an addict/alchie. Of course, the trouble becomes when we act on the thoughts even knowing what we know about the shlitstorm that will result if we do partake.
I don't know if the occasional thought ever really goes away completely. I betcha the person that does experience that is a rare bird.
Last Edit: Mar 15, 2016 13:11:41 GMT -5 by gwampa69
The only ones that I know who have recovered or claim to have recovered are those that worked the 12 steps program of AA. To go from a full blown alcoholic or drug addict to normal is a long process, it is for the mind to go through a make over top to bottom, it really is a brainwash in a way. Have you ever known a person that turned religious and completely changed in thoughts and behavior you don't recognize them any more, recovered is similar to that.
I have a couple friends that are in AA and have been for years. In confidence they have told me they still have the occasional thought but it never has a chance to take hold. That is the difference for them. In that way they are completely different than they used to be. It has been a remarkable transformation and its clear that AA saved their lives. But notice that I said they told me that in confidence. Because they weren't comfortable saying that they have those thoughts occasionally in the presence of other AAers. That's what makes me think that these thoughts may never really go away completely and some people are just not be comfortable admitting that it happens occasionally. Either way, for me, it's what happens after the thought pops into your head that is most important, not the fact that the thought happened in the first place. I've also had some people close to me (my own brother for one) that underwent a complete religious transformation. He's a completely different guy like you said. Trouble is I liked the guy he was before a whole lot better. As long as he's happy though.
That's the trouble some people have with AA, I used to go to AA meetings a lot over the years I've been trying to get and stay sober, I've met all kinds of people and there is fear among people that attend AA, either their way or the highway. I've met people that preach not to take prescription medications it's a sign someone relapsed, like don't take doctor prescribed Metformin for diabetics the 12 steps will heal you. True that is not the real face of AA, but some take it to extreme.
I know a guy who turned Jehovah Witness, it's like the old self died and a new one took over.....the dude chants to himself now.
WOW that's a huge coincidence Sam. I didn't know you knew my brother! Its actually quite sad really. He married a Jehovah's Witness and one of the first things he said to me about it was "don't worry she's not gonna try to convert me". In the end, I don't know if there was pressure from her (probably) or not, but he went full on into it. He left our family and I haven't heard from him in over 5 years. We used to be quite close. It sucks. Sorry to any JW's out there. I don't mean any disrespect but that's what my experience was within the context of me and Sam's little conversation here...
Haha that's funny Sam. I wonder if I could get one of those door knockers at Sharper Image? My grandpa always used to invite the JWs inside to talk. He would flip the script on em though and try to convert them to Judaism. They usually left very confused.
By the way, how the heck do you attach pics on this forum? I see the little "insert image" button up there but I'm stumped how it works.
Thats right. Sawasdee Krab, hands together, bow from the hip. That's how a male says hello in Thai. Women say "Sawasdee Ka" I had Pad thai on the first night I arrived. Not like the Pad Thai in my local Thai joint in town. I thought I loved thai food before I went there. Woah. It was an eye opener. Best food in the world to me. Here's a huge pile o' Pad Thai at a Bangkok street market. Truly divine.
That's right, the food portion is small and price is not cheap, but Thai food is awesome. My local Thai restaurant has on the menu a picture of red chili next to the item, one chili is not so hot, two is medium and three call the fire department.