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Post by gwampa69 on Feb 21, 2016 13:41:49 GMT -5
Do things in life have to get to a point where there are no more answers or viable solutions? Do we have to destroy every worthwhile relationship we ever had? Does having the trust of others have to become such a foreign, fabled concept that we doubt its real, achievable, or even worthwhile? Do things have to get so bad that no matter what we do, the problems seem so crushing and unsolvable that there is no other option than to stop drinking and try another way? What has to happen before the "Aha" moment happens? Does it really have to happen at all? Stopping short of what may amount to a personal epiphany for some, is it possible to just stop for a second and review life as we have been living it, and acknowledge that if bad things are happening because of alcohol, simply say enough is enough?
For me, it was all of those things and more. I guess its referred to as "rock bottom", "the end of the line", " or the ever elusive "moment of clarity". It been written before and its true for me as well. For me, rock bottom was actually a fairly loose term that I redefined every time I sunk to a new personal low. For me there always seemed to be a lower rung of he ll waiting as long as I kept trying to solve my problems with a bottle of whiskey.
Of course its different for everyone. While many alcoholics and addicts share many similarities with each other, the tolerance for pain is perhaps one of the few differences. Its a broad spectrum and along the way, for whatever reason, people step off that conveyor belt of craziness at different times under different conditions. I was wondering about this today. So for you, what has or had to happen?
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Post by Sam on Feb 21, 2016 17:51:33 GMT -5
Hey Brett, For me I got tired of waking up every morning feeling like a piece of dog ####, no really, it was very bad. I'd wake up and I am so tired, dehydrated and my head was hurting so much it felt like it was going to explode, I had no energy and looked like a zombie. I didn't feel like doing anything, I couldn't even go back to sleep, I was just there...empty! When I finally was able to have a few days sober and experienced what it felt like to wake up without a hangover the size of Texas, I wanted more, every time I felt like drinking I remembered the morning after and it helped persuade me not to drink, it didn't always work as I relapsed many times and repeated the cycle, but it was a powerful motivator. Of course there was also the usual fear of dying drunk, ####ing up my liver permanently, and losing everything that meant something to me, but the next day hangovers stand out, as silly as that might sound. Sam
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Post by hourbyhour on Feb 21, 2016 20:55:17 GMT -5
I have heard people state that you have to hit rock bottom before you can ever recover from an addition. I certainly hope that isn't true in my case, and I have seen many people recover without their lives completely unraveling.
I haven't hit rock bottom in the sense I maintained friendships, kept a good job, was in good health, etc. But, I knew I was seriously pushing the envelope at times. Could the people smell the liquor on me each morning at work? What about getting a DUI on the way to work?
So, my motivator has more been the self question do I keep pushing the envelope until I have gone too far? Do I "change myself" wait and "be changed" when it is too late and I get in trouble, lose my job, etc.
The drinking was fun, but I have too much to lose.
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Post by gwampa69 on Feb 23, 2016 11:31:19 GMT -5
Hey Sam I don't think that sounds silly at all. I felt the exact same way. The hangovers were the first thing to greet me everyday and they were no picnic to wake up to. The physical part of the hangover was bad enough. The emotions that came along with them were much worse for me. They reminded me yet again that I got drunk the day/night before and this further led to my feelings of hopelessness. Those daily occurrences coupled with the cold hard facts of my rapidly disintegrating life all played a part in my choice to just stop. Like you I feared irreparable physical damage (as well as mental damage) however, those fears weren't quite enough for me. Unfortunately it took more "proof" that booze (and the issues it was masking) was the problem.
If alcohol is a problem, don't drink it. Period. Easier said than done I know. But strip aside all of the complicated reasons why alcoholics (and drug abusers) do what they do, and what I think we find is that it usually boils down to at least that one first thing. Its a start. And for me, it was the only place to start.
Good to see you Sam.
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