No matter what

[kellen]

On my 4th sober anniversary I found out my husband had lung cancer. Three months later he died. Today I have 4-years+six months. Even on the worst day ever you can stay sober.

[Pam]

Hi Kellen,
Thank you for sharing how strength may be found
within to endure . . . .
Take care.
Pam

[Deleted]

Hey Kellen,
Sorry to hear about your husband and thanks for the inspiration about staying sober whatever happens.

[gwampa69]

Hi Kellen
I'm sorry about your husband. Staying sober through this time is an achievement. I admire your resolve. It reminds me just how relative emotional pain is. I know that I used to have a tendency to wallow in my problems. Nowadays when I read or hear about someone dealing with something much more trying, it makes me stop and think. Your post puts things in perspective. I hope a lot of people read your post and really think about your circumstances and their own. Thanks for sharing that.

[kellen]

Thanks for the feedback. We met in aa and I used that as inspiration to stay sober. And I was a self proclaimed hopeless case who thought I would never get and stay sober. It's a commitment! Also want to say in my first year of sobriety I read the old Buddy T forum. (Wasn't a forum but turned into one.) That was my lifeline. Reading other's stories is so helpful in quitting.

[Mark_LA]

Kellen, congrats on your 4-1/2 years, and condolences for your loss.

One of the nice things about recovery is that nowadays, it wouldn't even occur to me to drink as a way of coping with adversity. Why would I want to do that when it would just make things worse? When I look back on the days when I thought it worked as a coping mechanism, I can see now how deluded I was.

"Also want to say in my first year of sobriety I read the old Buddy T forum. (Wasn't a forum but turned into one.)"

I'm glad if the old forum was a lifeline, but I'm confused about what you mean by this.  4-1/2 years ago, Buddy T's alcoholism forum on About.com was alive and well, and at that time, had been running for many years there.  I joined in 2010.

Please feel free to share more about your recovery experience here.

[kellen]

Hi Mark_LA, what I meant by the about.com was I don't think it was set up as a give and take. I got the impression it wasn't a comment board for communication between posters. I can't remember the specifics, but I think that's why it was set up here. (Sorry if I'm confusing, does that answer your question?)

[kellen]

I remember someone named Fish, or Big Fish from the old site. I think I used ellikay as my name back then. It was really terrific, especially in the middle of the night.

[Pam]

Hi Kellen,
How are you?
Hope you are well. 
Pam

*Hope you don't mind my note.

[kellen]

Hi Pam, I feel a relapse coming on so I am going to see my Dr today for a counseling referral. I have heard so often five years is a critical time in sobriety (isn't it all?) and I want to get some help before tragedy hits. I am selling my house and moving back in to my parent's house, my last watering hole and issues galore. Wish me luck, I'll be staying in touch!

[kellen]

And thanks for asking, Pam!

[gwampa69]

Hi Kellen
While I'm sorry to hear you are struggling right now, I am really encouraged by the action you are taking. Knowing the signs of a potentially impending relapse is half the battle. The other half is taking positive direct action to avoid it. That's great to see and there's a lesson there for all of us.

After all you have been through and dealt with in the last several months, I hope you can continue to find the strength to keep things in perspective. And always remember this one thing. No matter what you are dealing with now. Whether it's moving back home, the things that have happened to cause you to move back home or all of it combined. Alcohol never ever ever helps. It will only magnify the troubles you are facing. The discouragement you will undoubtedly feel. The sense of failure and guilt that I think most of us are familiar with. You really don't need anyone to tell you this. You just don't need any additional pain.

Good luck and great job again. It's all simple really. But it ain't easy.

[Pam]

Feb 16, 2016 8:48:00 GMT -5 kellen said:

Hi Pam, I feel a relapse coming on so I am going to see my Dr today for a counseling referral. I have heard so often five years is a critical time in sobriety (isn't it all?) and I want to get some help before tragedy hits. I am selling my house and moving back in to my parent's house, my last watering hole and issues galore. Wish me luck, I'll be staying in touch!

Hi Kellen, 
I'm so glad you wrote.  On the way home, I read your message.
(Phone was not charged.)  Then, within a few minutes
heard a speaker making reference to Thomas Aquinas. .
emphasis . . . "know thyself".  

Kellen, recognizing your feelings and intuiting the necessity 
to act and then . . . doing so. . . really awesome. 

Wishing you the very best as you work to maintain your sobriety!

You are going to be just fine.  Take care of yourself.
We're looking forward to your updates!

Pam

[Deleted]

Hey Pam,
Can you tell us more who this speaker was or speaker tapes you are listening to? It may help others in their recovery. Also how these speakers or books you are reading are helping you in your recovery would be good to know. So more information please.

[Pam]

Hey Kim . . . and everyone. . .
I tune in to Moody Bible Institute radio - moody radio.org
There are many shows featured - ministry (sermons) primarily
Topics also include: politics, money, relationships

The speaker indicated that St. Thomas Aquinas' works are most
widely studied. I am not Catholic and I'm not familiar with
his works.

I'm going to do a bit more research to find the piece the 
speaker referenced  . . . 

It's the evening. . . . Thought about your post.  
Still going to look into that for you. . . .
However, what interests you Kim?

Now I listen to podcasts . . . NPR . . . music. . . on the way home.
I can't listen to books while I drive . . . too distracting . . . .
I prefer reading them anyway.  Have you made time to read
for fun. . . just to take a break from your studies?

By the way. . . how is your class?
Don't forget to take breaks instead of working through that 3-4 
hour period
Oh . . . and are you chatting with your classmates?

Hope this note finds you feeling confident and strong Kim. 

Catch you later.