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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 15:56:26 GMT -5
Alcoholics are manipulative people, all in the name of drinking. I was willing to lie, cheat and act in order to secure my next drink. I am going for a walk I say, but needed to go to the store to buy alcohol. I will be right back I need to get something from my car, but that's where I have a bottle in the trunk. I can't come to your social event, I am busy at work because I want to stay home and drink.
I charge all my alcohol purchased to my CC and hesitate to buy other more important purchases, alcohol is expensive. I plan everyday around my drinking and my other duties will suffer no problem, drinking comes first. The responsible man I am I try to finish all days work early so I can drink un-bothered, I change my schedule, I lie to people and I postpone anything that might stand in the way of my drinking, drinking comes first.
I lie to my doctor about my drinking, I make empty promises to my wife, I am always hung over and I want a relief and I want to drink. I blame everything and everyone and I convince me I am right and they all are against me.
I live in a big lie and I know it, I am a manipulative alcoholic, my next drink is all that matters.
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Post by Pam on Nov 9, 2015 16:07:10 GMT -5
The alcoholic or addict in the stranglehold of the addiction is manipulative. The actions of an addict are selfish and manipulation is only one form of this selfishness.
While it is a lengthy discussion as to whether or not the alcoholic is always an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic or a recovered alcoholic . . . once several factors are in place . . . the manipulative aspect of a person does not always remain in tact . . . One could say that a liar is always a liar and a thief is always a thief because of their action/behavior and another individual's inability to forgive.
However, when one moves down the road of sobriety and forfeits/gives up the addiction . . . the baggage of the past . . . once acknowledged . . . should allow that person the opportunity to become the new/whole person they choose to become on a daily basis by choosing to walk away from the alcohol . . . the behaviors . . . all of the past. . . .
However, whether or not the person is successful depends on the merit of the effort.
If it is a sincere look into the reasons why one drinks, etc., the affect it has had on others, the willingness to make amends, etc. (the Steps) then the person moves beyond the concept of manipulation and into the realm of reflection and seeking forgiveness . . . from God or their HP. . . from those the person has harmed and forgiveness from him/herself.
I will probably edit this later . . . but that is my immediate and most sincere thought on this topic . . . for the moment 
Pam
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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 16:30:18 GMT -5
Of course recovery changes all that, or at least in most cases. I was talking about my active alcoholic self in the past, I should have made that more clear All the best, Sam |
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Post by Pam on Nov 9, 2015 16:35:08 GMT -5
All the best to you!!!!!!
Pam
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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 16:44:33 GMT -5
*More than anyone needs to know . . . but in this post . . . I have just forgiven someone in particular. I have to believe in the power of redemption for him if I am to believe in the power of redemption for myself.
Whom did you forgive and for what? Why did you change your original post that I read that had WTF written all over it?!
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Post by angelina1512 on Nov 9, 2015 16:53:09 GMT -5
Hey Sam,
while I was reading your first post, that was me to a tee. Always having excuses why I couldn't go, why it was sick, why was I still in bed. It consumed my life. My life was made to work around where and when I could drink. Using different cards to pay for it, hiding in the boot of the car. Needing to go to the bathroom all the time, bottle in bottom draw.
OMG how I am so glad I put in the hard work to get where I am now. That post made me realise how pathetic my life was. Thanks Sam. Makes me appreciate where I am now. 101 days not smoking either. New woman.:-))
angelina/Tutu
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Post by Pam on Nov 9, 2015 16:54:42 GMT -5
Thank you for clarifying Sam. You are correct to presume that your topic hit too close to home. I am not upset with you in any way, shape, or form. Working through my own stuff at the moment. . .
Have a good day!
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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 16:59:20 GMT -5
I can't tell what you mean PT or what your state of mind is, it was just a post about being an active alcoholic, from my own experience. Take it easy.
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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 17:07:22 GMT -5
Hey Sam, while I was reading your first post, that was me to a tee. Always having excuses why I couldn't go, why it was sick, why was I still in bed. It consumed my life. My life was made to work around where and when I could drink. Using different cards to pay for it, hiding in the boot of the car. Needing to go to the bathroom all the time, bottle in bottom draw. OMG how I am so glad I put in the hard work to get where I am now. That post made me realise how pathetic my life was. Thanks Sam. Makes me appreciate where I am now. 101 days not smoking either. New woman.:-)) angelina/Tutu Hey Tutu, I went to a great lengths to hide my drinking, I was what I call a silent drinker for the most part. At later stages in my alcoholism I needed to have alcohol in my system. I tried to lessen the impact of my alcoholism on my life and those around me, I drank heavy and I learned how to hide my drunkenness. I did so many things to hide my drinking, being an active alcoholic is hard work! |
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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 17:13:53 GMT -5
Thank you for clarifying Sam. You are correct to presume that your topic hit too close to home. I am not upset with you in any way, shape, or form. Working through my own stuff at the moment. . .
Have a good day!
I understand, I don't know much about you but I understand, I have nothing but respect. Let me know if there is anything I can help with, but don't expect much Sam |
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Post by angelina1512 on Nov 9, 2015 17:16:39 GMT -5
Hey Sam, yes i so agree with you. Being an alcoholic and really needing to get that fix, is hard work, takes a cunning person to pull it off. but then one day it just fell in on me. being sober is so much less work than being an alcoholic. Seems funny now, but then I didn't have a drinking problem:-)  I forget I can put smiley faces on these new forums. I can even post pictures now on this one and the smoking one. i can now tell people I don't drink, I once had a problem, now I don't. stay posting Sam, you have so much to offer. tutu |
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Post by Pam on Nov 9, 2015 17:16:59 GMT -5
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Post by angelina1512 on Nov 9, 2015 17:25:25 GMT -5
Hey Pam,
i like sam have respect for you as well. You are trying, dealing with a lot of shlit isn't easy, facing it takes a person who is willing to change, no matter what it sees or faces.
this place is being about open about yourself, no judgement. I have talked about my past, not a pretty picture but I got it out. Sometimes it just takes getting it off the chest, or someone just nodding or smiling to make it OK. Not OK what happened but just ok now.
so keep trying Pam, face whatever you can. I was once afraid of snakes, I have been " looking" at them, to take away the fear. Each one I " look" at seems less threatening. One second looking, now 10 seconds. Small baby steps.
keep posting, and I love the quotes you post.
angelina/tutu
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Post by Sam on Nov 9, 2015 17:32:15 GMT -5
Hey Sam, yes i so agree with you. Being an alcoholic and really needing to get that fix, is hard work, takes a cunning person to pull it off. but then one day it just fell in on me. being sober is so much less work than being an alcoholic. Seems funny now, but then I didn't have a drinking problem:-) I forget I can put smiley faces on these new forums. I can even post pictures now on this one and the smoking one. i can now tell people I don't drink, I once had a problem, now I don't. stay posting Sam, you have so much to offer. tutu You're doing well Tutu, when I grow up I want to be just like you   |
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Post by angelina1512 on Nov 9, 2015 17:41:54 GMT -5
Hey Sam funny. But now when I see police on the road, I don't panic. My heart doesn't race. When I was drinking, still driving because I didn't have a drinking problem I would freak out every time I saw a cop car, even on the other side of the road. now they come into work, love them. I found if I don't like someone, I need to look at myself and ask myself why. Unless they have done something really bad but if they haven't and I still don't like them, I ask myself why. Inside job again. always an inside job . tutu |
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I forget I can put smiley faces on these new forums. I can even post pictures now on this one and the smoking one.
