Oh lord, obsessive thinking. Overthinking. My nemisis. And catastrophizing. I've been learning about this as it seems there is a connection between this personality type (me) and PTSD (me, too). Again, the coping thing. My Mom (mommy dearest) was a catastrophizer...as was her Mom. It was all good, or all going to he!!, nothing inbetween. Huge over reactions. Her way of coping? Denial. Massive, large scale, pervasive, all encompassing denial. But it seems to have worked for her. While I am also good at denial, I can't stay there....bring in overthinking. And simply a love for truth...at least my truth (hmmmm, relative?). I think also my tendency toward procrastination is linked to this 'chicken little the sky is falling' thinking. If do nothing, nothing happens. But that is incredibly stressful.
Yes, stop oneself. Identify the emotion...give it a name (this is fear, this is anger, this is sadness) look at it...and let it walk away. Sort of like urge surfing, but the urge is to overthink or obsess, rather than drink. Am I going to ride the thought to the shore, or get off the wave and let it head on in. Mindfulness I think is another term for this. Amazingly simple and effective. Just naming my emotion takes it quickly to what is driving the obsession. I agree. And honesty with others. Or for me, telling them how I feel and what I need, before I'm so freaked out I don't know what's going on. You know, we have a Dharma center. They have a speaker and a meditiation thingy after that on Tuesdays. I'm gonna try it. I look things up, get all prepared, then...Oh Ancient Aliens is on...good lord. I'm cancelling my cable. Who needs it. I've got Netflix. Good to hear from you!
Hey Dot! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, and I'm still not sure how to do this (responding to a specific post, quoting, etc...this looks weird lol). I've been great, thanks! Very busy. Working a lot. In a relationship now so that takes up a lot of my free time. My whole OCD thing about having a perfectly spotless house all the time has gone down the toilet lol. I've lost a lot of weight, down to a size/weight I haven't seen since I was in my early 20's maybe. Took some martial arts classes for a while, Jeet Kune Do, SO much fun but couldn't afford to keep them up so switched to kickboxing classes for a while that I found a groupon for. Kind of been slacking on formal workouts for the past 4-5 months due to having a few varicose vein surgeries (not sure if you remember me complaining on the old forum about swelling in my legs that the first idiot doctor I saw couldn't figure out, that was the cause) which put me out of commission for a bit, and then finally bought another bike this summer so the boyfriend and I were doing a lot of riding when the weather was nice. Took a vacation with the boyfriend in April...his best friend and my best friend have been together for about 8 years (and my ex husband was also friends with her boyfriend, good lord lol), they went on vacation for his 40th birthday so we surprised him and flew out to spend half of their vacation with them. So everything is and has been great!
Thought I had myself completely figured out and "fixed" a little over a year ago, but found MORE stuff to deal with once the relationship started to get more serious. It has been interesting to discover my "stuff" that I didn't know was there when I was alone in circumstances involving he and I together. He's helped me learn, and change for the positive, a lot about myself and I know he would say the same about me. Because I WOULD say this is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever had, sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing, and sometimes things that are "normal" and healthy initially feel totally foreign to me.
There's already so much to read here at the new forum! I've read a little, either here or at the old forum can't remember, about what you've been up to. Glad you recently found some peace. You seem so positive and serene, and it's good to read.
JoeY is that you? Our JoeY? Our JoeY and Maria, JoeY? I hope so. I've missed you posting.
Hi Blue yes it's me. i see we don't get email notifications for post and i hope that changes soon (buddy?) life still very hectic for us but should be easing out some over the next few weeks so hopefully will be more active in the forum. miss all my good forum friends and glad to still be in tough with some through FB.