60 hours sober

[brighteyes]

I caved last night but starting again today. Always the 3rd day for me brings trouble. There was wine left in the cupboard that I had forgotten about. I drank a much smaller amount that I would normally. This morning I poured out all the leftover wine into the sink. I am going to stay with elderly cousin for a few days starting tomorrow. It is difficult to drink there. I am not happy with one bottle these days so will find it fairly easy not to have any if I have not got a second bottle to finish off with even though I rarely drink it all.

Thanks again for your support. It is much appreciated. I don't feel the same way I used to. I am actually thinking about what I am doing when I drink, not just accepting it blindly as I used to.

I wish everyone well. Judexx

[achilles1957]

Good for you for starting again Jude, never quit quitting. I fell down so many times, only to get up stronger than before. I learnt from each of my relapses (I don't intend to have any more though ;-) and believe that the only failure lies in not trying at all. If you're thinking about what you're doing when you drink, observing yourself, shows that a change is in the works. I remember doing the same thing, observing, when it struck me that what I was doing was me, destroying my soul while my body looked on. Sounds silly and it was weird but I saw the futility in what I was doing. It not longer gave any pleasure, I think in some way I drank so I would stop "thinking" about drinking.

Take care for today,
Jenn

[JoeY]

not the end of the world Jude and glad to hear that you're letting go of it and moving on. we're all rooting for ya.

[brighteyes]

Thanks JoeY. I took on board what you said about waiting for a kind of lightbulb moment but the fuse has long gone out for me. Nothing in my environment is going to change the way I feel. It's up to me and it needs to come from inside. It is 4.45 here now and a dangerous time for me but I am travelling tomorrow and want to get some sleep. I still feel quite unwell from the stray cat bites I sustained last week so will not drink tonight.

I hope you are enjoying London. I can remember telling Grampadave that I was bored with London and that was why I drank and he came back with "You are in the centre of one of the most interesting cities in the world and you are BORED ? Think about that!"

I am now on the South Coast in West Sussex and have even bought a little car. My job is going ok and I board with a lovely family. Things could be so much better though, without the booze. I have come a long way. This time 2 years ago I was in rehab and had no idea what the future held.
It's lovely to talk to you again. Do you remember "Rel" the Aussie girl. I haven't seen her around here at all but hopefully she is busy with good things in her life.

All the very best
Jude

[bethanne711]

Hi Jude, sorry to hear about your slip but am very happy that you did not let it beat you. Stay strong. A change of scenery with your elderly cousin should be a good thing. Great determination ! Beth

[brighteyes]

Thanks Beth and PJ. It's nice to talk to old friends
Jude

[bethanne711]

You're most welcome, Jude. How is today going for you ?
Beth

[brighteyes]

It's ok thanks Beth. Just watching 48 days with sandra bullock. I think she does a reasonable portrayal of an alcoholic. Have booked a taxi to the station for tommoz and will enjoy coffee and a pastry on the train which takes 1.5 hours to London.

How are you these days? Are you still living in the same area? I was wondering if you and Caht have managed to meet up now she is in America. So many things have happened on this forum since I joined in 2010.

Best wishes, Judexx

[JoeY]

Oct 15, 2015 10:55:38 GMT -5 brighteyes said:

Thanks JoeY. I took on board what you said about waiting for a kind of lightbulb moment but the fuse has long gone out for me. Nothing in my environment is going to change the way I feel. It's up to me and it needs to come from inside. It is 4.45 here now and a dangerous time for me but I am travelling tomorrow and want to get some sleep. I still feel quite unwell from the stray cat bites I sustained last week so will not drink tonight.

I hope you are enjoying London. I can remember telling Grampadave that I was bored with London and that was why I drank and he came back with "You are in the centre of one of the most interesting cities in the world and you are BORED ? Think about that!"

I am now on the South Coast in West Sussex and have even bought a little car. My job is going ok and I board with a lovely family. Things could be so much better though, without the booze. I have come a long way. This time 2 years ago I was in rehab and had no idea what the future held.
It's lovely to talk to you again. Do you remember "Rel" the Aussie girl. I haven't seen her around here at all but hopefully she is busy with good things in her life.

All the very best
Jude

  Hi Jude,
it's certainly not easy to change a lifetime of what you've been doing or at least that's the way it was for me.  i had no light bulb moment that made me quit drinking, i quit because i knew death would mostly likely have me within a year if i couldn't so it was fight or flight time for me.  if alcohol still had worked for me i'd still be drinking but in the end no matter how much i drank i was only maintaining my habit.
   some have to push it that far, some are lucky enough to heed the warnings and quit well before they reach that point others, as been recently posted with Dana, never do quit and die.
   yes Rel is alive and kicking and keep tabs on her through FB.  also there are plans in the works to catch up with Beth sometime next year.  it would have been this year but it's been one hell of a fight to get maria's (caht's) US residency.
   we'll head back to the states on the 24th but back in london for the holidays on dec 17th for 3 weeks.
glad you have a set of wheels and ljving with a good family.  we did a flat share for a year and a 1/2 right arounf the corner from maria's dad. we shared it 5 other flatmates an experience i never wish to repeat again in this lifetime.
be well,
JoeY

[bethanne711]

Hi Jude, glad to hear your day is going okay. Coffee and a pastry sounds like an ideal way to enjoy a train ride, plus the views outside the window.

Did you mean 28 Days with Sandra Bullock ? If it's the one I thought it is really good and I've seen it several times. She is a great actress and a very nice person in real life.

Yes, I am still in Eastern Tennessee. Been here since 2006. I really love it here. It is a very pretty state in my opinion.

As JoeY said, they plan a visit here sometime next year which will be great ! They are 2 very special people to me. Their Love Story is amazing to me. All they went through to be together after meeting on the forum. Beautiful stuff there.

I hope you continue to do well, Jude.

Beth

[Dana]

Hi Jude, I'm glad you got right back here and going again. You have the desire to stop drinking, and that's a good starting point that a lot of people don't have. Regarding the spiritual experience - I haven't had any one burning bush type pow of a revelation, but rather a lot of little things that add up. Sometimes slowly... If you have a big book of alcoholics anonymous - take a look at one of the appendices (I forget which one) about it.

[JoeY]

back to day one

[bethanne711]

What are you referring to JoeY ?
Beth

[JoeY]

i believe Jude didn't make it to day 4

[JoeY]

ok i might have misread something that you posted Beth. sorry for that