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Post by brighteyes on Sept 26, 2015 18:12:21 GMT -5
Hi Guys, my name is Jude and I was a very active member of the forum in 2011. I went to work in the Channel Islands for 12 months and then when I got back to the UK I went into rehab for 3 months after a detox in London. I feel very guilty because 2 years later I am still chasing the bottle despite a lot of government money being spent on me. I am working and doing well at my job but I am just wondering about others experiences in rehab? I was very grateful to be in a place where I couldn't drink cos one slip up would have seen me chucked out but at the same time it was one of the worst experiences of my life and I couldn't wait to get away. I was told I would make lifelong friends but my group did nothing but argue once the staff had gone home and I could not believe how selfish some of them were? One girl was told while in rehab that her mother was terminally ill and thus unable to go on a holiday she (the mother) had booked. This girl spent the whole weekend on the phone trying to find a mate that would go with her (the girl) so the ticket wouldn't go to waste. Another one used to cry poor all the time even though her father gave her a very generous allowance and if ever you bought a nice lipstick or some perfume it would disappear. She was on with a guy from another rehab and used to get lots of "home leave" whereas she was with him. The day she graduated we had to write a piece about how she had "inspired" us and all I wanted to write was that she was a bully and a fraud and generally a very nasty cruel person who played the system but I kept my peace
I learnt a few things but we were so cut off from reality it didn't help. I relapsed 2 weeks after coming out and continue to struggle. I am in a much better place now and I know I sound ungrateful when I think of the money that was spent to send me to rehab and I sincerely don't want to put anybody off the idea but I need to share this as an honest account from my point of view. Thanks for listening. Jude
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2015 18:55:26 GMT -5
Hey Jude, Welcome or should I say welcome back. Ive been on this forum a year now although I haven't been sober a year. I had a friend who went to rehab and also heard others experiences in AA. I went to a short-term rehab about 10 years ago for 2 months. I found it didn't work because in the rehab I had no cravings because I knew I couldn't drink in there and it seemed easy. Once I came out and was faced with real-life the drinking resumed. I found that a lot of people were there but not really at the stage of wanting to give up, myself included. Some were there to look good to face court to avoid jail. A few people were caught using while they were in there and some weren't caught. A friend went to a long-term rehab to save her marriage and came out in a worse state than when she went in, imho. She told me a lot of horror stories about it. Her drinking and dope continued and maybe other drugs as well. She was also shoplifting and I ended the friendship with her to stop myself turning back into a round the clock drinker again. I guess my point is that I don't think rehab really works either. I heard it works for about 10% of people, the same as AA works for 10% of people. Stick around Jude, I'm sure this forum could help you again as I find it a lifesaver for me.
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Post by bethanne711 on Sept 27, 2015 10:27:22 GMT -5
Hi Jude ( I believe I remember you ! ) and Kim, great topic ! Speaking for myself only, rehab never worked for me. I have been in and out of several for many years. The most successful attempt was down in Florida. I managed a total of 6 months clean and it felt good ! Then something traumatic occurred and I went right back to the bottle. I agree with Kim in that it's easy when you're in there since you know damn well you can't get anything. I just resigned myself to the fact. However, once out in the " real world " I always caved in. Personally, I did not care for rehab. Anyway, I wish all those the best who decide on rehab. Everyone is different. This is just my 2 cents worth. This is not meant to discourage anyone. I want to stress that point. I wish it would work for everyone. Beth
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Post by brighteyes on Sept 29, 2015 7:51:43 GMT -5
Thanks for your replies Kim and Beth. I don't know what the answer is. I just wanted to share my experience. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't that. It still upsets me now and I wish I had said more in the evaluation I had to fill out at the end of my stay. Anything that happened between the clients was supposed to be discussed in "group" but it was a joke and those that were being bullied were too frightened to speak up because there was only 1 staff member in the evening and they usually shut themselves away in the office and the bullies reigned supreme. The business about having to evaluate each other's progress was also very harmful I felt, especially in the hands of vindictive people like one client who was still using and getting away with murder under the staff's noses but was being treated like the "golden haired girl" having been the longest one there.
I wonder what would constitute a good rehab where people cannot use but at the same time are not shut off from the outside world? If I had known the poor success rate of most rehabs I would have detoxed and just stayed in the community getting help. As it was I spent a year of my life on benefits, lost most of my savings and now have a gap in my career CV which has had to be painted over very carefully. Thanks for listening, Jude
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Post by JoeY on Oct 7, 2015 6:27:37 GMT -5
Hi Guys, my name is Jude and I was a very active member of the forum in 2011. I went to work in the Channel Islands for 12 months and then when I got back to the UK I went into rehab for 3 months after a detox in London. I feel very guilty because 2 years later I am still chasing the bottle despite a lot of government money being spent on me. I am working and doing well at my job but I am just wondering about others experiences in rehab? I was very grateful to be in a place where I couldn't drink cos one slip up would have seen me chucked out but at the same time it was one of the worst experiences of my life and I couldn't wait to get away. I was told I would make lifelong friends but my group did nothing but argue once the staff had gone home and I could not believe how selfish some of them were? One girl was told while in rehab that her mother was terminally ill and thus unable to go on a holiday she (the mother) had booked. This girl spent the whole weekend on the phone trying to find a mate that would go with her (the girl) so the ticket wouldn't go to waste. Another one used to cry poor all the time even though her father gave her a very generous allowance and if ever you bought a nice lipstick or some perfume it would disappear. She was on with a guy from another rehab and used to get lots of "home leave" whereas she was with him. The day she graduated we had to write a piece about how she had "inspired" us and all I wanted to write was that she was a bully and a fraud and generally a very nasty cruel person who played the system but I kept my peace I learnt a few things but we were so cut off from reality it didn't help. I relapsed 2 weeks after coming out and continue to struggle. I am in a much better place now and I know I sound ungrateful when I think of the money that was spent to send me to rehab and I sincerely don't want to put anybody off the idea but I need to share this as an honest account from my point of view. Thanks for listening. Jude
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Post by JoeY on Oct 7, 2015 6:28:13 GMT -5
hi jude i remember you too, did you get new boots once?
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Post by brighteyes on Oct 9, 2015 1:25:34 GMT -5
New boots?
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Post by JoeY on Oct 9, 2015 4:37:46 GMT -5
In the old forum there was a person named Jude from the UK, there were also a couple of other Londoners there as well. i thought Jude bought a new pair of boots that she was on the fence about buying. it might have been one of the other birds. i also think there was a person named Susan that loved her boots as well. i think her avatar had a leopard in it. we also had a clip clop susan as well, does anyone remember her?
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Post by brighteyes on Oct 9, 2015 5:42:42 GMT -5
I was the Jude with the sore feet who could only wear one pair of shoes lol. I remember "clip clip Susan" I think she was in Barbados. She became very unwell while posting on the forum if I remember rightly.
Good to talk again Kindest regards, Jude
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Post by JoeY on Oct 9, 2015 5:44:43 GMT -5
Me and Maria (caht) are still in london till the 24th..... we be married you know
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Post by bethanne711 on Oct 10, 2015 12:19:45 GMT -5
Hey Joey,
Who can ever forget " Clip Clop " Susan A weird bird to say the least. It really was sort of sad if you think about it, as she could not have been well mentally.
BTW, how do you get the little quotes under your avatar?
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Post by JoeY on Oct 10, 2015 15:34:57 GMT -5
Hey Joey, Who can ever forget " Clip Clop " Susan A weird bird to say the least. It really was sort of sad if you think about it, as she could not have been well mentally. BTW, how do you get the little quotes under your avatar? Hi Beth, click on your profile then enter the info into box provided. break a leg,:-)
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Post by bethanne711 on Oct 10, 2015 15:39:23 GMT -5
Oh , Joey, You are going to pay for that one !!! LOL... You are still the same...thanks for that. ! Stick around, butt head ! Beth
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Post by JoeY on Oct 10, 2015 16:16:00 GMT -5
now i feel like i'm home again
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Post by JoeY on Oct 10, 2015 16:28:25 GMT -5
Oh , Joey, You are going to pay for that one !!! LOL... You are still the same...thanks for that. ! Stick around, butt head ! Beth just figured out how to change my avatar.
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