Post by gwampa69 on Nov 30, 2015 15:31:37 GMT -5
Another great post. You brought up the topic of Surrender. I'm glad you spoke about that as it is a little confusing to me and you clarified the meaning of Surrender for me. I agree with what you said that its realizing that the alcohol is now in charge. That is how I feel atm. Just a shell of a person with a roof over their head. I am using alcohol to douse the pain but in reality it is just destroying me and will end up killing me. I need to find a different way to live, seems scary but I know I can do it. I've been there before and felt like a new person. Like I said, I'll just take it a day at a time and not give in to cravings.
Think about what you just said here. "I need to find a different way to live, seems scary but I know I can do it". That's so true. And it even makes a bit of sense even though on the surface its like, wait a second, how could living a better life be scarier than living a drunken life that destroys us a little more each day? Maybe its an example of the old saying "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know". Sometimes that is true but in this case, its definitely not. Finding healthy ways to deal with problems, stress, trouble etc. isn't really scary its just foreign to an alcoholic. It was foreign to me. Still is sometimes. But I have experienced something that I never really thought existed. Problems and life in general are much easier to deal with when I am clear headed, and not feeling like dog crap all the time.
I mentioned something a while back about living in a comfortable mire. Booze makes us feel better about feeling bad. Its weird, I know. The unknown can be scary because its well, unknown to us. But I promise you the same thing that Mark promised. Nobody ever regretted getting sober.