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Post by quitat54 on Aug 20, 2016 21:35:55 GMT -5
I celebrated my one year being sober this past week. It was just another day where I did not wake up with a hangover and did not go to bed drunk. I managed to string 365 days of doing exactly that. The paradox of sobriety for former alcoholics is that we are always 1 drink away from falling back to abyss - regardless whether we have been sober for a week or a year, as it is the case with me. Of course, psychologically and emotionally I feel so much stronger now, than I felt one week into my sobriety. When I was struggling to stop drinking the thought or not being able to drink - ever, frightened me. I used to think that I would not be able to enjoy holidays, celebrate my good days or drown my misery of bad days. I did not believe that life without alcohol could be enjoyable. More stable, perhaps, but not as fun as life with a drink. Well, I learned differently. I enjoy my sober life. I don't miss drinking. On the contrary, when I see people drinking I look at them with anxiety or with compassion. Although I don't want to drink and I don't think about it, I am always vigilant, and in general avoid bars, or situations if there is a lot of drinking. Feel strong and confident, but don't want to let my guard down or tempt faith needlessly. I always remember Mark's story how he went with his grandson to throw pebbles to avoid any further urge to drink and deal with immediacy of what was in front of him. I have learned over the past year that these urges are temporary, and we don't let them take us over but let them go, and they disappear. And, as time progresses, they are less frequent and lose their strength. This is what I would offer as most important advice to newbies. But of course we don't have them on this forum anymore. And this is sad. Many of you helped me so much in my journey to sobriety, with your wisdom and sharing of your experience. I wish more people who straggle with alcohol could stumble onto this forum, share their experiences and support each other. I guess this is a form of AA without its rigid rules and without necessity of leaving your own home. I mean shared experience and support of individuals who have gone or are going through similar challenges.
Thank you or for all the support and hope that all of you, as is my intention, can drop by here from time to time and say how you are doing.
J
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Post by gwampa69 on Aug 20, 2016 23:56:26 GMT -5
J Congratulations on your one year! I'm so happy to see this post. Your personal insight, introspection and honest style have been an inspiration to me. While the participation around here continues to diminish (sadly) I still and always will acknowledge that this forum is a cornerstone for me as well. I too manage my sobriety using many of the same techniques as you do. I also view others drinking in a similar fashion. Even when portrayed on TV or in movies, witnessing the act of getting drunk, particularly the aftermath, bums me out. Just tonight I was watching a show that had a scene where a main character was waking up in the morning. He was on the couch, surrounded by empty beer cans that were on every flat surface of the room. It was just a tv show, but i had a profound sadness and anxious feeling. I distinctly remembered the dread I would feel opening my eyes to that scene around me during my wasted years of drinking. Watching that unfold in a tv show is as close as I ever care to get. Of this I am certain. And it reinforces the point for me. Life is so much better without alcohol.
Congratulations again. If you ever want to chat and the forum is as silent as it's been, drop me an email. I think you have it..
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Post by jeyu0422 on Aug 21, 2016 11:20:38 GMT -5
J
Congratulations!!! One year is a big deal, but it is not the finish line.
I have to admit that Brett sent me a message and told me you had posted on the Forum. I check every 4-5 days, but there is seldom anything new, so I had not seen your post. A word of warning. After I reached a year, I had somewhat of a setback, not a relapse (I didn't drink), but an emotional setback. I am very goal oriented, and as such, like/need clear beginnings and endings. For me, even though I knew better, ONE YEAR felt like a finish line to me. I had finally made it. I was a FORMER alcoholic.
The pebble throwing story that I related to you happened AFTER a year of sobriety. I think it happened primarily because I stopped working toward sobriety after I hit my year anniversary. That incident put me back to work again. There have been a few times in the year since that incident that the thought has popped back in my head that I could go back to being a causal drinker, but I know, deep down inside, that I could not. I'm not sure that I was ever a casual drinker anyway. If I was, it was just for a very brief period of time before the addiction became complete. So I am not and will never be a FORMER alcoholic. I am an alcoholic. Period. But I am also a recoverING alcoholic living a sober and happy life.
I wish you the best.
Mark
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Post by angelina1512 on Aug 21, 2016 17:25:28 GMT -5
Hey J,
congratulations. Brett also sent me a message so I like my two buddies want to say well done. One year is so very awesome. I like Mark have thoughts every now and then maybe just one to celebrate, BUT because of this place I know one is never an option because I know it wouldn't be long before it was one bottle and I would never want to go back to that life.
you have done really well. Like Brett said if you need any of us you have our email. Just remember no matter what "one" just won't fix the problem. Make it part of your whole life now, you are a recoverING alcoholic the only thing that can change that is the "just one"
life is sooooooo much better without alcohol. Enjoy your new life and don't ever go back down that lonely road. Life is better without alcohol.
good job J for making it, putting in the hard work, and no matter what you didn't drink. Well done. Enjoy life.
angelina
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Post by Pam on Aug 21, 2016 19:12:17 GMT -5
Congratulations J . . . "One year" and counting is well worth the effort it takes to get through one day at a time. PT
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Post by PJ on Aug 22, 2016 16:22:59 GMT -5
Congratulations, J. Making it to one year is so awesome; it's a really big deal, an important milestone.
Yeah, you still have work to do; and yeah, you need to keep at it. But you will. I can read it in your words, sense it in your tone.
As they say ... you got this.
Huge congrats to you.
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Post by Mark_LA on Aug 23, 2016 9:57:17 GMT -5
Thought I'd come out of the woodwork too and congratulate you on your one year sober. Glad to see you doing so well, and glad to see other old-timers check in to wish you well.
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Post by quitat54 on Aug 23, 2016 22:33:59 GMT -5
Thank you to all of you for good wishes, words of advice and wisdom.
I remain vigilant and do not harbour any illusions that I can be a moderate drinker - 1 to 3 drinks. Quite frankly I don't want anymore, I mean what is so special about being moderate drinker? I know that for me "one is too many and 10 is not enough". If I were to start drinking I would do so with the intention of drinking till I can drink no more. This is my make up, make up of an alcoholic. For a very long time I tried numerous times and continued to believe that I was able to control my drinking, rejecting every day evidence to the contrary, of my behaviour and my pathetic psychological and emotional state. I refused to admit the fact that I was a slave to a substance and could not release myself from bondage. There is a term in psychology called cognitive structure and a therapy called cognitive restructuring. So my structure, my belief system had to undergo major demolishing and rebuilding. I am still "under construction". As we get older we often want to hold onto our belief systems and are too rigid and inflexible to want change. This was the case with me and alcohol. Now I see things differently. I see this incredibly harmful illusion, that as society we perpetuate upon ourselves, to our own great detriment. As Grandpa points out, I was also the guy from the movie waking up with a bunch of beer bottles. And I also have anxiety just thinking about that I could become one again. Yes, we are messed up as alcoholics and are different from majority of people. But majority of people works very hard on creating more alcoholics - all you need to do is go to a store where they sell alcohol on the weekend or on holidays. Why do we need alcohol to celebrate? Anyway, I have just recently discovered how to celebrate without alcohol, so who am I to judge?
All your comments and well wishes mean a lot to me, and I hope that we will continue to visit this site to check on each other, and hopefully, attract new members, people who struggle and need help. All the best to all of you.
J
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Post by slimkim on Aug 26, 2016 8:13:19 GMT -5
Hey J, Sorry to be so late in wishing you congratulations. You are an inspiration, rather a quiet achiever I should add.
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Post by yvan on Aug 27, 2016 13:23:40 GMT -5
Hi J. Congratulations to make it one year. No more alcohol for the rest of my life frightened me as well at the beginning but time shown me there is no fear to have. I enjoy so much life and every moment of my life now that going back to drinking wouldn't make sense, only heading me to a lot of troubles and pain. Alcohol has gone from my life for almost 3 years, and even if the time of being a drunk seems far behind me, I don't forget I am an alcoholic, that I couldn't drink like others and who I could become again if I decide in a moment of madness to poison my mind. We can live happy without alcohol, we just have to remain strong and give some time to our sobriety to bring its positive effects into our life. I always try to be positive and see good in everything as I learnt that my happiness depends as well on the quality of my thoughts, a big change as I used to see often things negative when I used to escape reality. Sobriety is a journey, I learnt, I grew, my life is good and I am sure that living sober will never stop to surprise me. I am very happy for you J. I remember PAWS last year, second year, be prepared for it just in case, that I don't wish you of course. I wish you a happy sober life.
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Post by quitat54 on Aug 28, 2016 1:17:02 GMT -5
Thank you Kim
Good to hear from you. I hope you are doing ok. Hang in there girl, it really gets better in time. The more sobriety we put in, the more tools and practice to deal with cravings or sudden urges, we learn. And urges and cravings disappear.
I always appreciate your positive comments yvan. You are paving the way for someone like me. I always remember that I am one drink away from going back to where I was. I truly enjoy being sober and have already experienced many benefits, some obvious some less so. What I find encouraging in my experience is that I don't think of drinking when I get stressed out or have a bad day. I will continue to be vigilant, and I never even think about possibility of being a "normal" drinker. Who cares anyway? Why is this so important to be a normal drinker? There are many people who don't drink at all and were never alcoholics. They don't drink because they believe that there is no need to put a mind altering substance into your body for any reason. So in addition to fear I am guided by choice of not putting this poison into my body.
J
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