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Post by gwampa69 on Jul 2, 2016 14:01:17 GMT -5
The last few days have seen more activity in terms of discussion based posting than has occurred in several months. The last 24 hours alone have seen 87 guest views on this site. Now I know that doesn't mean 87 different folks surfing-by (Mark LAs term which I like so will now use, thanks Mark) but it is still significant. It means there are some number of people out there still in need of help. I suppose it would also include curious people, old timers checkin in to see what's going on with everyone, etc. Whatever the case may be, I still have some hope for this place. Even while I have also cut way back on my participation here.
I miss the sense of community around here. I have looked at the Sober Recovery site. Maybe you have too. Something about it seems overwhelming. Probably because I haven't given it enough time to get into the flow of things. When I try it, I compare it to the format I was used to. The format of the old forum became very comfortable. When that site closed and Buddy opened up this shop (thanks Buddy), this location was also tough to get used to at first. And then it began to have that homey feel that I needed. Only trouble is that participation has been lacking.
I'm not trying to guilt anyone into posting here. I'm just trying to convey my thoughts on the subject. Sure, things have been generally pretty good in my neck of the woods. But it hasn't been 100% rosy. That's just normal for a person living on this planet. But this place is a cornerstone of my sobriety. And I need this place to be a part of my life. That takes other people to feel the same way. I don't figure that I'm the only person that feels like this. So why the silence? If things are going great for you, Id love to hear about that. If things aren't so great, I'd love to hear about that too. As I have said before, helping others ultimately helps ourselves.
People move on all the time. That's also part of life. But I think there is at least some evidence of interest around here. This forum will be whatever the members make it. My vote is to make it a safe and helpful place again. A place that people can share, debate, argue and heal. It will require activity though. I hope I'm not talking to myself. That would be weird.
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Post by angelina1512 on Jul 2, 2016 18:37:39 GMT -5
Hey Sparrow,
so very good to see you. Glad you are well. Yes this place needs some TLC. If not for this place you me and Mark would not be friends, would not be sober so for that reason I think we should at least put in some effort. Pay back.
i know There are a lot that would love to see this place up and running. I also am a member of the smoking cessation since giving up smoking 11 months ago, but there is no place like this place. I see so many come and go, so many of the ones that take up smoking again wait and then come back. But until they are really ready to let go, to say enough is enough it's just a place for them to chat.
when I joined this forum I had already made my mind up that I HAD to give up drinking. So I just needed " tools" and some people who knew what I was feeling to get me past the " I need a drink " stage.
I learnt about HALT, so very important, even when giving up smoking. PAWS! I have put a few people onto that at the other site. Without knowledge I could not have become an EX drinker or an EX smoker.
so maybe it's now time to try and help others have a better life. Mine isn't perfect but being an EX of both smoking and drinking has made my life so much better, in so many ways.
so let's try, let's all put in the effort for at least 3 months, if it doesn't work well we can say we tried.
tutu. Aka -Angelina
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Hail Mary
Jul 2, 2016 19:01:50 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by gwampa69 on Jul 2, 2016 19:01:50 GMT -5
Thanks Ang. You've got a deal. You've also got mail.
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 2, 2016 22:04:29 GMT -5
Hi friends,
While getting dressed for the Forum party in honor of Brett's TWO YEAR Anniversary, I decided to do a quick search on line for Alcoholism Forums, and guess what. WHAT? Well, since you asked, The Forum, This Forum, Our Forum came up on the first page. I've been in business for a long time and have found that if the doors are never open, no one can come in. So maybe there are a few more out there than we think. Actually, we should thank Pam for keeping the place open, but I'll bet that she got a little weary of talking to herself. Thanks, Pam.
So, TuTu, count me in.
To all newcomers, the requirements for posting here - absolutely none. You can be sober, drinking and thinking about getting sober, or just drinking. I suppose you can even be drinking and thinking about drinking more, but the common bond that many of us share is what alcohol has taken from us, and eventually, for those of us who have found sobriety, what has been given in return. It was a tough road to get here, but I'm a better person now for having been an alcoholic.
Mark/Jeyu
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Post by angelina1512 on Jul 2, 2016 22:45:41 GMT -5
Hello everyone,
i am am really touched that we are not going to give up just yet. I am very proud. I'm at work so just a quick one.
if all the regulars could just pop in and post, let us know that we do care.
awesome.
tutu
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Post by jeyu0422 on Jul 2, 2016 23:41:17 GMT -5
To Whom It May Concern, Let's not forget that there are a few "regulars" who are still struggling, So, if that is you, this post is specifically to YOU. I can imagine if I were still drinking, it would be a little hard to read all of these success stories and feel good about myself. I am definitely a forum success story, but I am also 61 years old and have been sober for a little over two years. I finally got it right at the youthful age of 59. I was where you are for a long, long time. I tried and failed to break my addiction more times than I can count. You should find hope in the fact that it finally worked. It worked because I never gave up trying to quit. If you want to compare, let's compare the 30 something years that alcohol was in control of my life, not the two that I have been in control. My point is that it is never too late to begin again. If you have still not managed to find sobriety, you just have not quite put all of the pieces together in the right order. If something is not working for you, discard it and try something else. Eventually, like me, you will find your own path that works for you. I sincerely believe that you CAN break this addiction. Mark/Jeyu
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Post by gwampa69 on Jul 3, 2016 8:07:30 GMT -5
To Whom It May Concern, Let's not forget that there are a few "regulars" who are still struggling, So, if that is you, this post is specifically to YOU. I can imagine if I were still drinking, it would be a little hard to read all of these success stories and feel good about myself. I am definitely a forum success story, but I am also 61 years old and have been sober for a little over two years. I finally got it right at the youthful age of 59. I was where you are for a long, long time. I tried and failed to break my addiction more times than I can count. You should find hope in the fact that it finally worked. It worked because I never gave up trying to quit. If you want to compare, let's compare the 30 something years that alcohol was in control of my life, not the two that I have been in control. My point is that it is never too late to begin again. If you have still not managed to find sobriety, you just have not quite put all of the pieces together in the right order. If something is not working for you, discard it and try something else. Eventually, like me, you will find your own path that works for you. I sincerely believe that you CAN break this addiction. Mark/Jeyu Jeyu You bring up a great point here. There are a couple of ways this can go. When I first came to the forum, I was an emotional and physical wreck. My mental wiring was damaged to the point that I couldn't think straight. My emotions swung wildly from one extreme to the other. I cried a lot. I was angry with myself and with the world in general. I began reading all manner of posts and viewed other peoples success both with hope and cynicism, depending upon the moment. I read about how great some people were doing and either thought "wow that could be me" or "they won't make it much longer and therefore neither will I". That last thought really bothered me until I realized where it was coming from. I viewed my life as a failure. In many ways it was. To read how great someone is doing when you're not doing well yourself can be rough. Depending upon the person and their story, you may find yourself jealous of others and almost rooting for their fall. Horrible huh? That was my thinking sometimes. As my brain began to dry out, my thoughts and feelings, the real me, began to win the battle with the darker side of me. The part that was both caused by and allowed the addiction to assert itself.
Patience and time really do help. I needed both to get to the point where I could change my thinking. Introspection came next. I found and faced some things that lurked below the surface for many years. I had to drag that stuff kicking and screaming out into the sunlight in order to face those things down. After that, (well some of it is ongoing) I found myself growing as a human being again. Alcoholism/addiction takes that growth away.
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Post by angelina1512 on Jul 3, 2016 8:15:59 GMT -5
Hey Sparrow,
funny you you say that about wanting someone to fall. When I was growing up I was always the ugly duckling in the family of four girls, hated them all, my sisters that is, I wanted them to swallow an ugly pill and I would wake up Cinderella.
as I grew, still classed myself as ugly, first husband told me I was ugly then I met my penguin and he was the total opposite. Told me how beautiful I was. Now how could that be. Ugly for so long then all of a sudden beautiful. Took me years and years to understand.
after I gave up drinking I realized that my penguin saw my inner beauty. If that makes sense. Anyway now, well now I'm older and wiser. But you childhood can screw you up. Sometimes turning to the bottle.
not sure where this is/has taken me. But I think not liking who I was had a lot to do with drinking.
Tutu
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Post by gwampa69 on Jul 3, 2016 15:14:05 GMT -5
Hey Sparrow, funny you you say that about wanting someone to fall. When I was growing up I was always the ugly duckling in the family of four girls, hated them all, my sisters that is, I wanted them to swallow an ugly pill and I would wake up Cinderella. as I grew, still classed myself as ugly, first husband told me I was ugly then I met my penguin and he was the total opposite. Told me how beautiful I was. Now how could that be. Ugly for so long then all of a sudden beautiful. Took me years and years to understand. after I gave up drinking I realized that my penguin saw my inner beauty. If that makes sense. Anyway now, well now I'm older and wiser. But you childhood can screw you up. Sometimes turning to the bottle. not sure where this is/has taken me. But I think not liking who I was had a lot to do with drinking. Tutu Hi TuTu, Thanks for sharing that. As in all things, honesty is the best policy when it comes to soul searching and sobriety. My initial reasons for drinking didn't start that way but things definitely turned out that way in the end. As a kid I was confident, adventurous and outgoing. That's the real me. When things went south as a young teenager, I began drinking and drugging because of the pain I was feeling over my fathers abandonment and my mothers inability to parent her children. Over time, the drinking sapped everything that made me who I was. By the time I acknowledged my alcoholism, I hated myself pretty completely. Alcohol stole from me. I won't let it take anything from me ever again. p.s. I think you are beautiful inside and out. That smile? Come on!
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Post by angelina1512 on Jul 3, 2016 18:06:21 GMT -5
Hey Sparrow, funny you you say that about wanting someone to fall. When I was growing up I was always the ugly duckling in the family of four girls, hated them all, my sisters that is, I wanted them to swallow an ugly pill and I would wake up Cinderella. as I grew, still classed myself as ugly, first husband told me I was ugly then I met my penguin and he was the total opposite. Told me how beautiful I was. Now how could that be. Ugly for so long then all of a sudden beautiful. Took me years and years to understand. after I gave up drinking I realized that my penguin saw my inner beauty. If that makes sense. Anyway now, well now I'm older and wiser. But you childhood can screw you up. Sometimes turning to the bottle. not sure where this is/has taken me. But I think not liking who I was had a lot to do with drinking. Tutu Hi TuTu, Thanks for sharing that. As in all things, honesty is the best policy when it comes to soul searching and sobriety. My initial reasons for drinking didn't start that way but things definitely turned out that way in the end. As a kid I was confident, adventurous and outgoing. That's the real me. When things went south as a young teenager, I began drinking and drugging because of the pain I was feeling over my fathers abandonment and my mothers inability to parent her children. Over time, the drinking sapped everything that made me who I was. By the time I acknowledged my alcoholism, I hated myself pretty completely. Alcohol stole from me. I won't let it take anything from me ever again. p.s. I think you are beautiful inside and out. That smile? Come on!
Hey Sparrow,
well ill that made me smile from ear to ear. Thanks. I do think our past has something to do with becoming an alcoholic and I know a lot don't agree with you. But if you me and Mark look at it, we confronted what we had too and we made it. That tells me that something underlying deep down made me turn into an alcoholic. And I think this is a great place to vent all our anger at who plissed us off. No harm in trying anyway. thanks for your support. I now know I am beautiful inside and out :-))
tutu
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