Spouce in program

[utzg4037]

Thanks for program you help many people.
My wife has been in meeting for 3 weeks now. We been married 8 years. she left to different state where we moved from. Her son is a alcoholic and is talking care of him.  She told me she was working on her before she can work on marriage. For she cant say no to here family. So she has been in meetings.  I was on my way to move back to the state, and she told me not to come. We haven't spoken for a week now, not that I haven't tried. She finally return a text today how your program has been helping her. I just want to know what to do, I am not pushing her to make dessions. She doesn't want me to help her. I know I haven't given to much details.  

[soberinmi]

There are those that believe that one's sobriety "absolutely" comes before anything else supported by an early 1940s beginner's pamphlet from Akron. Ironically, many say there are "no absolutes", but one "absolutely" cannot get sober without completely abstaining from alcohol, and "absolutely" cannot work steps 2 through 12 without working Step One, and "absolutely" cannot get sober if they have any active addictions.

I posit there must be "some" balance in a recovering alcoholic's life, something that has been "absolutely" missing and that one's "sobriety" includes mending relationships as steps 8 and 9 imply.

Your wife either is of the mindset that selfishly she comes first in everything, not unlike her drinking past, or she has pushed you away because she intends eventually to sever the relationship, though it used to be suggested that a newcomer not get into or out of a relationship nor making any major decisions in the first year, but that seems to be ignored these days; few people would change the Big Book, but, ironically, they have indeed changed the program.  I don't know your wife and my information is limited, so there is some uncertainty there, therefore take my thoughts for what they are worth.

Maybe an Al-Anon website can help you?